Keep Holding On
by FinchelFan728
Summary: Set in 2024. Rachel and Finn are married and have four kids. Rachel receives a big opportunity, but then the Hudson family receives news that turns their lives upside down.
1. Chapter 1: Saturday Morning

_Hey everyone! Here it is, my fourth fanfic, set in 2024. Finn and Rachel are married and have four kids and are living in the Cleveland area. Rachel receives an offer to fufill her dreams, but then there is a setback that shakes the whole Hudson family's life. Many other Glee club members appear in this story._

_Thanks for all your positive reception to my first three!_

_I won't be able to update as often as I could in the past because I'll be at my summer job as a camp counselor in Virginia. I hope you enjoy - I'll try to update once a week._

Chapter 1: Saturday Morning

"I've been in this business for years and seen lots of talent, and I can tell you that you are one of the most talented people I have ever seen, Rachel Hudson."  
>Rachel smiled. "Thank you." She had just finished an impromptu performance of "On My Own" from Les Miserables for her show choir to demonstrate the solo she planned for them to use at Sectionals. She hadn't noticed the three people in black in the back of the room. After practice finished, the three asked Rachel to stay for a while so they could talk to her. It turned out they were talent scouts from Broadway searching the United States for singers and actresses for the new production of Wicked. Someone had given them Rachel's name and information.<br>"We rarely hear voices like yours," the blond woman said. "You have a gift, a real gift."  
>Rachel smiled. "Thank you."<br>"Which is why we'd like you to come to New York this weekend to audition for our musical."  
>Rachel paused. "I don't know. I have four young children and I don't know if I can move them to New York. They just started a new school year..."<br>"This production won't start until July," the man with glasses said. "The kids could finish up the school year and you could move to New York after they're done."  
>"That's not all," Rachel said. "My husband and I have pretty solid jobs here and I really care about my show choir I coach here..."<br>"Don't worry," the brunette woman said. "You'd make so much on Broadway, your husband wouldn't have to work. And why live out your dreams through these kids when you can live out your own dreams?"  
>Rachel paused. She wasn't living out her dreams through the kids. She'd lived out her dreams plenty by being in show choir in high school. She'd dreamed of being a Broadway star when she was little, but she liked the life she had here and wasn't sure if she wanted to give that up. Broadway would be all about her. It seemed selfish to uproot the family when they were so happy here so she could sing on the Broadway stage.<br>"You've got twenty four hours to get back to us," the blond woman said, handing Rachel her card. "We really encourage you to do it though. Like we said, you have a gift."  
>"I'll need to talk to my husband," Rachel said. "I'll get back to you." She thanked the representatives and began driving home. She arrived home to find her husband cooking dinner in the kitchen.<br>"Hey," Rachel said, kissing Finn. "How was your day?"  
>"It was good," Finn said. "You're home kind of late today."<br>"Yeah, there's actually something I need to talk to you about..." Rachel told Finn the whole story of what happened. "They want me to be in the new production of Wicked, but I don't know if I should do this... the kids are so happy here and I'd hate to uproot them for selfish purposes."  
>"Go to the audition this weekend and see if you get the part," Finn said.<br>"But -"  
>"I insist. Rachel, we'll figure something out."<br>"Okay, but I don't want to tell the kids. At least not yet."  
>Finn and Rachel were sure they had the ultimate love story. They'd fallen in love when they were sophomores in high school while Finn was dating Quinn. Then Quinn became pregnant and said the baby was Finn's when it wasn't, so Finn had felt like he had to stay with Quinn. When word came out that the baby was really Puck's, Finn broke up with Quinn. He and Rachel sort of dated, then he decided that he needed some time to be single for a little while. He quickly realized he wanted to date Rachel, but not quickly enough. Rachel was now dating the lead singer of Vocal Adrenaline, Jesse St. James. Finn continued to fight for Rachel and finally confessed his love to her at Regionals their sophomore year.<br>They continued to date until Sectionals their junior year, when word got out that Finn had lied to Rachel about his virginity and she made out with Puck to get even. He returned to Quinn to help him get over Rachel. He was absolutely miserable, but got back with Rachel at Nationals their junior year. They stayed together throughout senior year and went off to college, still together and planning to maintain a long-distance relationship while she was at Princeton and he was at Ohio State.  
>A month into their college experience, Rachel was attacked and almost died after a massacre at Princeton. Finn was absolutely devastated by the thought of losing her and realized he could never lose her. He proposed to her on her birthday that year and they got married the July after their freshman year of college.<br>For their second year of college, Rachel left Princeton and started at Ohio State with Finn. A few weeks into their second year of college, she learned she was pregnant - with a boy AND a girl. On April 16, 2014, Finn and Rachel were the parents of Ryan Nicholas Hudson and Emma Grace Hudson.  
>The next three years of their lives were spent juggling their studies and being parents. To support themselves, Ryan and Emma, they both worked part-time, but in 2017, Finn and Rachel graduated from Ohio State summa cum laude.<br>That fall they moved to a suburb of Cleveland where they still lived. Finn taught writing at the local middle school and Rachel was the vocal music instructor and show choir director at the high school. They had added two more children to their family - Sarah Elizabeth Hudson was born on February 19, 2018, and Jack Christopher Hudson was born on June 24, 2019.  
>In the past Rachel had dreamed of becoming a Broadway star and Finn had dreamed of becoming a professional football player. Today, they both loved the life they lived here with their children. The one downside was being far away from their families and friends. Rachel's mom and dads still lived in Lima, as did Finn's mom and stepdad and his twelve-year-old sister Ally. Their friends from Glee were about half near Lima and the other half scattered around the country.<br>Ryan and Emma were ten years old and in fifth grade at the public elementary school. Sarah was six and in first grade. Jack was five and had just started kindergarten. All four kids were at the same public elementary school, but it would be for one year only - next year Ryan and Emma would be in middle school.  
>Finn and Rachel set the table and called the children down for dinner. After the children ate, they made arrangements for Rachel to go to New York that coming weekend and told the kids she was just going to visit Kurt and Blaine, who lived there now with their two sons.<br>x  
>The morning after Rachel left for New York, Finn woke up and looked at the clock, realizing he'd slept too late. Whenever he and Rachel slept late on the weekends, the kids always ended up making themselves a not-so-nutritious breakfast that usually consisted of whatever sweets or junk food lay around the house.<br>Finn pulled on his clothes and went downstairs. Sure enough, his three oldest children were sitting at the dining room table, happily eating ice cream sandwiches. "Morning, Daddy," Sarah said happily.  
>"Hey Ryan. Hey Emma. Hey Sarah. Where's your brother?" Finn said.<br>"He's upstairs," Ryan said. "He's a really heavy sleeper. We tried to get him up but he wouldn't budge."  
>Finn looked at his children with concern. He knew Jack had been under the weather this past week, but hoped it wasn't serious.<br>"I'll go check on him," Finn told the kids. "And I believe that we have a rule against ice cream for breakfast."  
>Finn went upstairs to Jack's room and found his youngest son sleeping. "Hey, honey," Finn said quietly, nudging his son. "Time to get up."<br>"I don't want to get up," Jack moaned.  
>"If you don't get up, your brother and sisters might eat all the ice cream," Finn said. Normally he was against the kids eating ice cream for breakfast, but if it would motivate Jack to get up...<br>Jack moaned and rolled back over. Finn rubbed his son's back.  
>"Don't touch me, Dad! My back hurts!"<br>Finn pulled up his son's shirt and jumped back in horror. Something in the coloring of his son's back definitely wasn't right. It looked like a big bruise. LOTS of big bruises mushed together.  
>"Dad?" Finn turned to see Ryan standing in the doorway. "I'm sorry - I know we shouldn't have had ice cream for breakfast..."<br>"You can have all the ice cream you want," Finn said, putting his arm around his oldest son in concern.  
>"What's wrong?" Ryan asked. "You said we can have all the ice cream we want..."<br>"Ryan, I'm going to take your brother to the doctor," Finn said. "You and the girls stay here."  
>"Is he sick?"<br>Finn pointed to Jack's back. Ryan gasped and covered his mouth.  
>"What happened?"<br>"I don't know. Maybe he fell down on the playground or something..."  
>"Should I call Mom?"<br>"I don't want to worry her. You guys just stay home. If anything happens, I'll deal with it then."  
>"Okay." Ryan went back downstairs. Finn turned his attention back to Jack. "Jack, you've got to get up."<br>"It hurts to stand up, Daddy!" Jack cried.  
>"I know it hurts, and you've got a pretty nasty bruise," Finn said as calmly as he could, trying to avoid seeming panicked. "I'm going to take you to the doctor and see if there's a medicine they can give you."<br>"Could you just carry me?" Jack asked.  
>Finn nodded. "Of course." He lifted his youngest child out of bed, holding him in his arms. He carried Jack downstairs, where Ryan, Emma and Sarah had put away the ice cream and were now eating fruit.<br>"Jack and I are going to the doctor," Finn told the three kids. "If you need anything, I'll have my cell phone with me. Do whatever you want, eat whatever you want, watch whatever you want, play whatever games or toys you want, just be safe and stay home. Please just don't call your mother and tell her. I don't want to worry her."  
>"We'll be fine," Emma said.<br>"Okay, I'll see you guys in a few hours," Finn said. He went outside and carefully lay Jack on the back seat of the car, not wanting to make his son uncomfortable. Panic rushing through his mind, he began driving to the Rainbow Babies and Children's Hospital downtown.  
>"Jack, did you fall down on the playground or anything recently?" Finn asked.<br>"No," Jack said. "I don't know why I'm so ouchy, Daddy."  
>"It's okay," Finn said, hoping it was okay.<br>Finn pulled into the parking lot at the hospital. What he wanted to do more than anything was call Rachel, but he didn't want to worry her. Not when her Broadway dream might finally come true. He needed Rachel. He needed her presence to make him feel less scared. Of all the weekends she could have gone to New York and he could be left alone with the kids, this had to be it.  
>Finn carried Jack into the waiting room of the Emergency Room. "Hi, I'm Finn Hudson and this is my son Jack," he said to the receptionist. "He has some odd bruises and we'd like a doctor to look at them. We aren't sure where they came from..."<br>"We'll sign you guys in. A doctor will be with you shortly," the receptionist said.  
>Finn carried his son to the waiting area and sat down. "Dad, can I have something from the vending machine?" Jack asked.<br>"Of course you can," Finn said. "What do you want?"  
>"Can I have some peanuts?"<br>"Yeah, just let me get them." Finn went to the vending machine and paid for some peanuts for Jack. As his son at the peanuts, Finn called the other three children to make sure they were okay. This was the first time they'd been home alone.  
>The kids were okay. A doctor came to the waiting room and let Finn and Jack know he was ready. Finn explained the situation to the doctor as the doctor examined Jack.<br>"Well, what do you think it is?" Finn finally asked.  
>"I'm not sure," the doctor said. "I'm going to take a blood sample and a few x-rays and then we'll take it from there. We'll need to run a few tests."<br>"Okay," Finn said, panicking. He held his son's hand as the x-rays were taken and blood was drawn from Jack's arm. The doctor looked at the x-rays on his computer and turned to face Finn.  
>"Where's Jack's mother?"<br>"Oh, she's at an interview out of state."  
>"Do you know when she'll be back?"<br>"On Monday."  
>"Well, we should have the test results by then. You should bring her with you when we have the test results ready. We'll schedule a follow up appointment."<br>"With you?"  
>"No, here's who I'm referring you to." The doctor handed Finn a card. Finn's heart skipped a beat when he saw the words "pediatric" and "oncologist" next to each other on the card. Oncology was cancer. Could his son have cancer?<p> 


	2. Chapter 2: The Diagnosis

__Okay, I suck. Here's Chapter 2. I have VERY limited internet access at camp. I'll try to update at least once a week. Enjoy and comment if you want me to keep going.__

__Chapter 2: The Diagnosis

Finn sat in the living room, waiting for Rachel to get home. He'd barely eaten or slept all weekend. Not after hearing his son could have cancer. The fact that he had to fill both parental positions this weekend made the situation worse. He tried to act normal, but Ryan and Emma both asked if something was up.  
>He didn't want to tell anyone the news until he told Rachel in person that there was a possibility their youngest child had a life threatening illness. One goal Finn and Rachel had decided on right away was that they wanted their children to have as normal a childhood as possible. They both had major voids growing up.<br>Jack had spent most of the weekend in bed. Finn had tried to act like it was just a normal illness when he knew it was most likely more than that. He tried to pay equal attention to the other children but it was hard.  
>The kids brought Finn and Rachel more joy than anything, but at times having four young kids could be a challenge. This was the most challenging time.<br>After what felt like forever, Rachel unlocked the front door and came into the living room. "Hi, sweetie," she said, kissing Finn. "Good weekend?"  
>Before Finn had a chance to respond, Rachel began raving about her weekend in New York. Kurt and Blaine sent their love and their sons, six-year-old Michael and four-year-old Brendan, were getting so big. The people involved with Wicked had loved Rachel and the part was hers if she wanted it.<br>"Rachel, stop right there!" Finn shouted. He felt regret right away. He NEVER yelled at her.  
>"What?" Rachel asked, looking hurt.<br>Finn motioned for Rachel to sit on the couch and pulled her into his arms. "I'm so sorry I yelled at you, Rach," he said. "I'm really proud of you and I'm glad they liked you. But I have some bad news. This weekend I found a bruise on Jack's back. I took him to the doctor. The doctor referred us to an oncologist. It could be cancer." Finn felt tears falling almost right away. "I'm sorry. I had to tell you in person."  
>Rachel grabbed Finn's hand and squeezed it tight. "Maybe they just didn't know what they were doing-"<br>Finn sighed. "Rachel, this is one of the top children's hospitals in the midwest. As much as it scares me to think of this happening, I think they know what they're doing."  
>Rachel let a tear fall. "They probably know cancer when they see it. But how could this happen? Have you told anyone else yet?"<br>"I wanted to wait until you got home. I didn't want to have you hear from someone else."  
>"When do we find out?"<br>"The oncologist called earlier today. She wants to talk to both of us about the test results. Another sign it's not good news."  
>"When are we going in?"<br>"Tomorrow after school. I got a neighbor to watch the kids."  
>Rachel didn't say anything. She just pulled in close to Finn and gave him a tight hug. Finn hugged Rachel with all his might. Their hugs always felt so good, but at times like these, they had even more comfort and meaning than usual.<br>Finn and Rachel sat in the waiting room at the oncologist's office after school the next day, gripping each other's hands and with Rachel resting her head on Finn's shoulder.  
>A middle aged blond woman came into the waiting room. "Finn and Rachel Hudson?" she called.<br>Finn and Rachel stood up and followed her into her office. "I'm Dr. Sachs," she said, shaking their hands. "I have your son's test results. His white blood count is very low. We also found an abnormal fluid in his bone marrow. After many blood tests, we have confirmed he has Acute Lymphoblastic Leukemia."  
>Rachel began crying. Finn put his arm around her.<br>"What treatments do you recommend?" Finn asked, not knowing what to say.  
>"I don't think we caught it early enough for treatment to really help," Dr. Sachs said. "Even with chemotherapy, he probably has six to eight months."<br>"And without treatment?" Rachel asked.  
>"Two months. I'm sorry, Mr. and Mrs. Hudson." She handed them information on the recommended treatment.<br>Finn and Rachel sobbed on the way home. "How could God do this, if there is a God?" Finn sobbed. "How could he do this to Jack? To Ryan, to Emma, to Sarah. How are we supposed to tell the kids this? They know what happened to Katie Becker's sister last year." Last year, a girl at the kids' school had a sister who died of the same cancer.  
>"It's not fair," Rachel said, now sobbing. They cried on the whole way home. Jack may not see his sixth birthday. He may not get to be with Ryan and Emma when they moved up to middle school this spring. He may not get to see Sarah's first musical this winter.<br>"After we tell the kids, we've got to tell our parents ," Finn said.  
>Rachel nodded. "We should also tell Kurt and Blaine. And Sam and Quinn."<br>"It's at times like this I wish we still lived close to everyone," Finn said. Finn's parents and sister, Rachel's dads and her mom and sister all lived in Lima still. Sam and Quinn also lived there with their kids, seven-year-old Adam and five-year-old Madeleine.  
>Before they were ready, Finn and Rachel pulled into their driveway. "I have no idea how to do this," Finn said.<br>"Neither do I," Rachel said. "Let's tell Jack first alone, then we'll tell the three older kids together."  
>Finn and Rachel went inside to find all four kids in the living room. Ryan was playing on the wii, Emma was reading a magazine, Sarah was drawing a picture and Jack was building a lego.<br>Finn glanced at Rachel, who then sighed and said, "Jack, could you come upstairs with Daddy and me?"  
>"Am I in trouble?" the five-year-old asked as he walked up the stairs with his parents.<br>"No, of course you aren't," Finn said as he watched tears fall from Rachel's eyes. "Mommy and I just need to talk to you about something."  
>Finn, Rachel and Jack went into Jack's room and closed the door. "Remember when you and I went to the doctor this weekend?" Finn said, not really knowing what to say. He looked at Rachel and knew then and there that she couldn't do this.<br>"Yeah, they poked those needles in me. It hurt," Jack said.  
>Finn looked at the sadness in his son's eyes, remembering the needles. There were a lot more in the near future. "Well, you're sick," Finn managed to say.<br>"Sick?" Jack asked. "What do you mean?"  
>Finn fought back tears. "You have cancer."<br>"What's that?"  
>"There's something not quite right with your blood. So the doctors are going to give you medicine to help it get better," Finn said quietly. "You're going to be spending lots of time at the hospital over the next few months."<br>"Why can't you and Mommy just give me medicine?" Jack asked.  
>Rachel finally spoke. "The doctors know better than Daddy and I know what to give you. I am going to warn you, they'll make you sick."<br>"But Mommy, if I'm sick, why are they giving me medicine that makes me more sick?" Jack looked confused.  
>Finn and Rachel looked at each other. How were they supposed to explain this to a little kid? "It's very complicated," Finn said. "You are getting your first medicine in a few weeks. You might be in the hospital for a few days after they give it to you. Also, there might be needles to put the medicine in you."<br>"Needles? I hated those needles!" Jack shouted.  
>"I don't want them to put needles in you either," Finn said. "But it'll make you better."<br>"Anything else?" Jack asked.  
>"I think that's all we need to tell you now," Finn said. "We've got to talk to your brother and sisters now."<br>Finn put his arm around Rachel as they went downstairs. Talking to Jack had been the most difficult thing he'd ever had to do. Talking to the older kids would be more difficult. Especially the twins. They knew about illness and death.  
>"I'm not going to let him die," Rachel whispered to Finn. Her voice sounded strangled.<br>Finn leaned down and kissed the top of Rachel's head. He didn't say anything.  
>They went downstairs, where their three older children were still hanging out.<br>"Could you three sit down?" Finn asked as calmly as he could. "Your mom and I need to talk about something."  
>Finn and Rachel sat on the couch. Ryan and Sarah sat in armchairs while Emma sat on the floor.<br>"Listen, I never wanted to have to tell you guys this," Finn said. "I wasn't expecting this, and your mom and I are going to tell you here and now we don't know how to deal with it."  
>"What happened?" Ryan asked.<br>Finn sighed. "Jack has cancer."  
>Ryan and Emma exchanged a glance of shock. Sarah looked at her parents in confusion. It was silent for a few moments.<br>"What kind?" Emma finally asked, sounding concerned.  
>Rachel sighed. "Leukemia. We're so sorry. I'm not going to lie, the next few months are going to be hard for our family. We're going to be spending lots of time at the hospital. Jack's medicines will help kill the cancer cells, but they'll make him sick to his stomach and there will be other side effects."<br>"Will he be okay?" Sarah asked.  
>Finn bit his lip. He didn't know but he wasn't about to tell his kids that. "I'm sure he will."<br>"Another thing," Rachel told the kids. "We may have to leave town for some of his treatments. If we leave town, you three will go to Lima and stay with Grandma Carole and Grandpa Burt, Grandpa Hiram and Grandpa Leroy or Grandma Shelby."  
>"I don't want you to leave us," Sarah said, looking close to tears.<br>Ryan went and sat next to Sarah and put his arm around her. Finn could already tell this meant they were upset.  
>"I do not want you guys to have to go through this," Finn told the kids. "You're too young to have to experience cancer. I don't want people to make fun of Jack because he gets tired easily or gets sick in the morning. It pains me to think of him spending days in a hospital, possibly hours away from you guys. This is going to put our family to the test. I believe we will get through this." He didn't know if they would but he had to be strong for the children. He put his arm around Rachel, who was close to tears. Finn felt ready to cry, but the kids shouldn't see their parents cry. Finn and Rachel were the ones to comfort Ryan, Emma and Sarah.<br>"You three get to bed," Rachel said. "You look really tired."  
>Finn watched the three children head up the stairs. When they were out of sight he held Rachel in his arms as tight as he could.<br>His eyes fell on the family photo taken on their trip to the beach last summer. Finn and Rachel were in the center with their kids perched on the sides. Beside Finn, Jack was leaning on Ryan and holding up a starfish he'd found on the beach. Beside Rachel, Sarah was on Emma's back. They all had big smiles.  
>Rachel slipped her hand into Finn's, seeming to know what he was doing. "I wish the Hudsons could be a happy family like that again," Rachel sighed.<br>Finn sighed. "So do I..." They sadly looked at each other, neither willing to say that they both knew their wasn't much happiness in the near future for them and their children.


	3. Chapter 3: It Impacts Everyone

__The internet access at camp sucks, but I have Chapter 3 up and Chapter 4 is almost ready. Sorry I'm being so slow, bear with me and leave reviews if you want me to continue_._

Chapter 3: It Impacts Everyone

The days following Jack's diagnosis were very difficult for the Hudson family. After the near impossible task of informing their son of what could be his death sentence, then breaking the news to Ryan, Emma and Sarah, Finn and Rachel called their respective parents to tell them the news. Burt, Carole, Hiram, Leroy and Shelby all offered to come out to Cleveland and help in any way they could, but Finn and Rachel didn't want to make the situation any more stressful for the kids. They wanted to continue to make life as normal as it could be, but life would never be the same for the Hudsons.  
>Finn had also called his brother in New York that night. Kurt suggested bringing Jack to the best children's hospital in the world, which was located in New York. Going there had been an option they'd discussed, but for now they wanted to stay in Cleveland. If they went to New York, it would be a lose-lose situation for the other three children. If they stayed home, they would be without they went to New York, not only would they be dealing with a cancer-stricken brother and distressed, distracted parents, they would have to start at new schools and be in a totally different environment.<br>The only people outside the family Finn and Rachel had the energy to tell the news the night they got it were Sam and Quinn. Finn and Sam were still best friends after all these years, as were Rachel and Quinn. Sam told Finn that he and Quinn would be willing to come out to Cleveland to help if needed or if Finn and Rachel just needed a distraction. They also promised not to tell anyone the news until Finn and Rachel were ready.  
>Jack stayed in the hospital for a few days after his diagnosis as he got ready to start chemo. Rachel took a three week leave of absence from her job, only going in after school to work with the Glee club. Finn continued to go to work, but was never mentally there. He went straight to the hospital after work every day, right after getting the other kids from school.<br>One day about a week after the diagnosis, the day before Jack's first round of chemo, Finn was too exhausted and distracted to give a lesson and just asked his students to write a journal entry about an issue pressing on their minds currently. As the students worked and Finn was about to text Rachel at the hospital, his classroom phone rang. He picked it up. "Finn Hudson."  
>"Mr. Hudson, this is Becky Zaslov, the nurse at Cambridge..."<br>Finn's heart skipped a beat. Why was the nurse at his kids' school calling? He couldn't have another kid be sick.  
>"Ryan came to my office this morning after throwing up. He said he hadn't been feeling sick before he threw up and after he threw up he felt fine."<br>"Well - " Finn didn't want to say it in front of his students but felt like he had to tell the nurse. "Last week our youngest son was diagnosed with cancer. I think Ryan might have thrown up because he's having a hard time with it. I'll come take him home for the day."  
>"That's probably a good idea, see you soon."<br>Finn called the office and asked them to send a substitute to the classroom, saying it was an emergency. The principal was understanding. He told Finn he could leave any time when Finn first told him about Jack.  
>As Finn drove to Cambridge Elementary, a rush of guilt came over him. Neither he nor Rachel had intended it, but for the past week, Ryan, Emma and Sarah had been neglected. They were taken straight from school to the hospital every day, then spent the afternoon there as their parents mostly focused on their sick brother. Back home, it was endless phone calls and e-mail sending. This was hard for the older kids, too. They needed their parents.<br>Finn pulled into the parking lot at the elementary school and went into the office. "I'm here to pick up Ryan Hudson."  
>"Dad!" Ryan bolted out of the nurse's office in the back of the office, ran to Finn and hugged him. Finn's heart broke when he saw the fear in his son's eyes.<br>"Hey, Ryan," Finn said. "How about you and I go get some lunch?"  
>"But I brought lunch," Ryan said, looking confused as they left.<br>"I think you and I need some boy time." Finn put his arm around his son's shoulder as they approached the car. "Sit up front with me." Ryan and Emma had both reached the age where they wanted to sit in the front seat of the car. Finn and Rachel had been pretty adamant about not letting them until they were twelve, nothing was normal about today.  
>Ryan gave Finn a confused look. "But I'm not allowed to sit in the front seat, Dad."<br>"Today you are," Finn said. "I'm thinking we should go to Mongolian Buffet."  
>"Okay," Ryan said. Finn and Ryan drove quietly to lunch. When they arrived, Finn took the opportunity to talk to his son about what may have caused him to throw up.<br>"So Ryan, what were you thinking about right before you threw up?" Finn asked.  
>"Why are you asking that?" Ryan asked.<br>"Well, you haven't been sick lately. Your teacher said you didn't seem sick this morning and you felt fine after you threw up, which makes me think that something else made you throw up."  
>"How would I know?"<br>"Ryan, I know we haven't been giving you and the girls you the attention you need since Jack got sick. I'm sure it's been hard for you."  
>"I just don't understand why he had to get cancer."<br>Now what was Finn supposed to say? How was he going to tell his oldest son that he, too, didn't know why? The best thing to say was the simplest. "I don't know why he had to, either. It isn't fair to him, to you, or to your sisters."  
>Ryan continued talking. "I think about it all the time. I'm afraid to talk to you and Mom because I know you're sad."<br>"Ryan, you can always come to us."  
>"Yesterday at lunch, a boy in my class told me that Jack's going to be sick all the time and you and Mom aren't going to want to spend time with me. Then at recess, Emma and I just went under the equipment and sat there not talking for the whole hour."<br>Finn felt tears coming to his eyes. This was one of those times he questioned his parenting. He could barely handle having a kid with cancer. Trying to help his other children through it was even harder. He feared saying or doing something that would make the situation worse.  
>"Let me tell you something," Finn said to his son. "When you and Emma were born and I held you two in my arms for the first time, your mom and I had just gone through a very difficult time. As I looked at you two, my newborn children, I had one wish above all others. I wanted you two to live a life of happiness. I didn't want you to get hurt or experience pain. I wanted only the best for you. I felt the same way the first time I held Sarah and Jack. I wanted it more than anything and I tried to tell myself that would happen, but I knew deep down you would suffer, you would get hurt. We need to stick together. At the end of the day, no matter how many bad things happen, what matters most to me is that I still have you and Emma and Sarah and Jack and your mom."<br>"Dad?"  
>"What?"<br>"Do you think Jack's going to die?"  
>Finn paused. He'd hoped none of the kids would ever suspect the possibility, but he wasn't surprised that it had still crept into his son's mind.<br>"You didn't answer me right away," Ryan declared. "Does that mean-"  
>"No, Ryan," Finn said. "I'm not saying it's going to be easy but we will get through this."<br>"Can I just stay home instead of going to the hospital after school? I really don't want to go.""Of course you can stay home. If it was up to me, you'd never have to go. You and your sisters always have the option to stay home."  
>"You won't get mad at us?"<br>"Of course not. I completely understand why you don't want to go. If I was ten, seeing all that equipment on my brother would bother me, too. Ryan, I love you. Don't think that I don't anymore. It's just that your mom and I are trying as hard as we can to stop the cancer."  
>Ryan managed to smile. "I love you too, Dad."<br>Finn and Ryan tried to have a normal father- son lunch. Finn talked to Ryan about his school, his friends, his soccer team. After lunch Finn and Ryan went home and watched a movie until it was time to pick the girls up from school. Finn gave them the option of staying home today as well. They both wanted to stay home.  
>After dropping the kids off at home, Finn drove to the hospital and went to Jack's room. Jack was sleeping in his bed while Rachel was on her laptop.<br>"Hey," Finn said quietly, giving Rachel a kiss."Hey," Rachel said, returning the kiss. "Where are the other kids?"  
>"They're at home." Finn sat down next to Rachel. "They aren't taking this well. I think staying home today might be good for them. Ryan threw up at school today because he's so upset."<br>Rachel took Finn's hand. "Oh no."  
>"He told me at recess yesterday, he and Emma just hung out under the playground equipment for the whole hour."<br>"This is bad."  
>"It is. Rachel, I feel like we're doing the other kids a disservice. I haven't meant to and neither have you, but the fact of the matter is that we've been putting them on the back burner."<br>Rachel sighed. "We have. It isn't right. Ever since Jack got sick, it's been all about that. We have three other children to pay attention to. They need us, Finn."  
>Finn nodded and kissed the top of Rachel's head. "They do."<br>"There's something else I've been thinking about," Rachel said. "We can't keep trying to do this alone."  
>"What do you mean?" Finn asked.<br>"We need our families and they've offered to help. I don't want to burden them, but we need them."  
>Rachel always knew what Finn was thinking. "I think we do too. Not only do we need the help, the kids need people who can fully focus on them. They need people to help them with homework and watch TV with them."<br>Rachel sighed. "I just wish things were like they used to be."  
>Finn gave Rachel a hug. "So do I." They watched their son sleep as they sat in silence.<br>"I can't lose him," Finn whispered as he leaned against Rachel. Despite the fact Jack had only been part of his family for five years, he couldn't imagine the family without Jack. The Hudsons needed a mom, a dad and four kids.  
>"We aren't going to lose him," Rachel whispered as she weaved her fingers through Finn's hair. "We're going to get through this. Together, we will who this fight."<br>"I love you, Rachel Barbara Berry Hudson."  
>"I love you, Finn Christopher Hudson."<br>It was as if Finn and Rachel were always trying to reassure each other things would be okay. They'd been through hard times before, but nothing like this, and it would only get harder.


	4. Chapter 4: Support

__Thanks for all your nice comments. Sorry I'm slow, but the internet access here sucks. Enjoy Chapter 4. I know it's sad and angsty now and I won't reveal whether Jack survives, but right now I am telling you things will get better for Finn, Rachel, Ryan, Emma and Sarah in the end.__

__Chapter 4: Support

"I wish there was a way to make him feel better," Rachel said as she and Finn sat in their room. For the first time since the diagnosis, they were home for the night. Jack would start chemo the next day, which meant hair loss, weight gain and nausea.  
>Finn stood up. "I know what to do." He left the room without saying anything.<br>"What are you doing?" Rachel followed Finn to the bathroom to see him standing in front of a mirror, clippers in hand, trying to run them through his hair.  
>"Finn!" Rachel gasped. She loved his hair. She always had liked those soft, thick, brown locks. She loved running her hands through it and touching it and grabbing it. She just liked it, and she wasn't about to let him shave it off.<br>"It's so thick it's like shaving carpet," Finn said.  
>Rachel tried to grab the clippers. "No, Finn. No way are you shaving your head."<br>Finn ignored Rachel's comment. He continued shaving, letting several patches of his hair fall to the floor. "It's just hair, Rach. It'll grow back."  
>"If you must, at least let me help," Rachel said. "You missed a spot." She pointed to a place on Finn's head where a patch of hair seemed like a forest. Finn smiled, handed Rachel the clippers and let her finish the shaving. She didn't like seeing his hair go, but it was for a good cause and it would grow back. She continued shaving until his wavy brown locks lay lifeless on the bathroom floor.<br>"You're brave," Rachel said as she swept up the hair.  
>"It'll take some getting used to," Finn said, running a hand over his bald head. "But this was the right thing to do."<br>"I have an idea of what I can do," Rachel said.  
>"No Rachel. For a guy to do it is one thing, for a girl-"<br>"Relax, Finn. My hair's gotten long. I could probably cut off a foot to give to one of those charities that makes wigs and still be able to put it in a small ponytail."  
>Finn smiled. "I like that idea. Your hair looked really cute when it was short in college."<br>Rachel pulled her hair in a ponytail and handed him a ruler.  
>Finn put the ruler to Rachel's ponytail. "Eleven inches. How much do they require?"<br>Rachel handed Finn the scissors. "Ten. I'd like you to do the honors."  
>Finn gulped. "I don't know, Rach. I've never cut anyone's hair before."<br>"Just do it. Cut it above the rubber band."  
>Finn held Rachel's ponytail in one hand and snipped with the other. As he made the final snip, her hair was below her ears, but above her shoulders.<br>"I love it, Finn. It feels so light." Rachel smiled and ran her hands through her now short hair.  
>Finn laughed. "I've always preferred your hair short."<br>Rachel sadly began twirling a strand of hair around her finger. "I'm worried about him starting chemo."  
>"At least we know we won't be alone," Finn said, giving Rachel a hug. "My parents are going to be here."<br>"I'm glad," Rachel said quietly. "We just - we can't keep shutting everyone out."  
>"We should go to bed now," Finn said.<br>Rachel nodded. "We really should."  
>Finn put his arm around Rachel as they walked to their bedroom.<br>The next morning, Rachel drove the three older kids to school before going to the hospital with Jack. they were not allowed in the operating room. They sat in the waiting room in silence, holding hands, trying to watch whatever was on TV. They received a text message from Burt and Carole, telling them they'd arrived in Cleveland and would be picking the three older kids up from school. Ally was staying in Lima with a friend.  
>"Mr. and Mrs. Hudson, your son has completed his IV. Would you like to see him?"<br>"Yes, please," Finn said quietly. He and Rachel went to the examination room and peeked in. Jack lay in the bed, looking conked out. "Is he okay?" Rachel asked the doctor.  
>"Chemotherapy is not an easy drug, Mrs. Hudson. He's pretty knocked out. We would like to keep him overnight."<br>"Okay," Finn said. "Can either of us spend the night here?"  
>"We'd rather not have parents spend the night," the doctor said. "Jack is vulnerable to germs right now. You two may see him briefly, but you must wear masks. We don't want him to catch anything."<br>"Thank you," Rachel whispered as she and Finn went into Jack's room. She adjusted her mask right before she squeezed Finn's hand tightly. Finn opened the door and they went in.  
>"Hey, baby," Rachel whispered as she sat by her son's bedside.<br>Jack opened his eyes. "Mommy?"  
>Rachel's heart broke when she heard how week her son sounded. "How are you?"<br>"It hurt," Jack whimpered. "I didn't like it."  
>Finn took his son's hand. "It's going to make you feel better."<br>"But I don't feel better, Daddy," Jack whined.  
>"It won't get you better right away," Finn said quietly. "It'll take time."<br>"Are Ryan and Sarah and Emma here?" Jack asked.  
>Rachel shook her head. "They're at home with Grandma Carole and Grandpa Burt."<br>Jack's face perked up. "I want to see Grandma and Grandpa, too!"  
>Rachel sighed. "Maybe you can see your brother and sisters and grandparents tomorrow, sweetie."<br>"When can I go home?" Jack asked.  
>Finn and Rachel looked at each other. "When the doctors say you're well enough," Finn said.<br>Finn and Rachel spent the next hour sitting quietly at Jack's bedside and talking with him before visiting hours were over. Plus, they did have three other kids at home to take care of.  
>"He shouldn't have to go through this, Rach," Finn said after driving in silence for a few minutes. "We're supposed to dream of our kids on their wedding days and when they have their own kids. I dream of Jack making it to his sixth birthday."<br>Rachel reached over and patted Finn's knee. "Finn..." She couldn't bring herself to continue this thought. She managed to stammer, "We'll get through this."  
>Finn gave Rachel a half smile. "I know we will. We're Finchel, aren't we?"<br>Rachel kissed Finn. "Finn Christopher Hudson, two breakups, four love triangles, an attack that nearly killed me, four kids, two college diplomas, three jobs and a move later, I'm forever yours, faithfully."  
>Finn kissed back, smiling at Rachel's quoting of their trademark duet, Journey's Faithfully. "And I'm forever yours, faithfully."<br>Finn and Rachel pulled into their driveway and went inside. Burt and Carole were sitting in the living room. There was no sign of any of the kids.  
>"Hi Mom, hi Dad," Finn said, hugging his mother and stepfather. "Where are the kids?"<br>"One of the neighbors invited them over to work on a puzzle with them," Burt said. "I think some time out of the house might do them some good. They'll be back in time for dinner."  
>Dinner had not even occurred to Rachel. "I forgot to make dinner."<br>Carole laughed. "Rachel, your son just had his first round of chemo. No way should you have to make dinner. I have lasagna in the oven."  
>"Thanks, Mom," Finn said.<br>"Of course. You know we love our grandchildren."  
>Rachel looked at the floor and thought out loud. "How is it that I've been a mom for ten years and still haven't mastered it?"<br>Finn put his arm around Rachel. "What do you mean? You're a great mom. You're a much better parent than I am."  
>"Nonsense. You're both fantastic parents," Carole said.<br>"I just have no idea how to deal with this," Rachel said, letting her thoughts roll out. "All at once, I have to get Jack to treatments, try to reassure him of things I'm not sure of, keep our house germ free, research treatment methods, sort out medical bills, and attempt to give the other kids a semi normal childhood. It's all so much. I can't do this."  
>"I feel the same way," Finn said. "And one of the things that I feel worst about is now it doesn't seem to be Jack, Sarah, Emma and Ryan. Now we seem to think of them as Jack and 'the other kids.'"<br>"You two have been placed on a very difficult road. I wouldn't know how to handle this either," Burt said. "This is one of the biggest challenges you can face as parents."  
>Rachel started crying. "I can't do this. It's so hard and I know it's just going to get harder. I can't even be strong for myself. How am I supposed to be strong for Ryan, Emma and Sarah?"<br>The two generations sat there quietly until the phone rang. "I'll get that," Burt said. He answered the phone. "Finn, it's for you."  
>Rachel listened to Finn's end of the conversation. "Hello? Oh, hey Sam... We're doing as okay as we can be. He had his first round of chemo today... Oh, I'm really worried about them. I think they're just traumatized. I feel bad that we haven't given them the attention they need... That would be great. I'm sure Ryan would really enjoy that. Maybe Rachel, Emma and Sarah could do something with Quinn and Maddie too. Okay, I'll see you Saturday."<br>Finn came back into the living room. "It was Sam. He has four tickets to a Browns game next Saturday and he'd like Ryan and me to join him and Adam."  
>"Ryan probably could use the time out of the house," Rachel said. "The only times he gets out of the house are for school and soccer."<br>"Yeah, I really don't want a repeat of the incident that happened the other day."  
>"I'm sorry about that, you two," Burt said.<br>Before Finn and Rachel could say anything else, they heard the doorbell ring. Rachel went to the door to see their three oldest children standing there.  
>"How was school?" Rachel asked, hugging her kids.<br>"Fine," Ryan said, throwing his bookbag on the floor.  
>"Hey Ryan, how'd you like to go to a Browns game with Uncle Sam and Adam next Saturday?" Finn asked.<br>Ryan smiled for the first time Rachel could remember since Jack got sick. "That would be awesome!"  
>One down, two to go, Rachel thought.<br>"Dinner's ready!" Carole called. "I made lasagna."  
>"Yay!" Sarah jumped up. "Your cooking is the best, Grandma."<br>Two kids had already smiled. This was a miracle.  
>"Can we see Jack tomorrow?" Sarah asked.<br>Rachel didn't want the kids to get upset again. "Yes. Now, any homework?"  
>The kids groaned. Yes, they had homework.<br>Finn, Burt and Ryan began talking about sports. Sarah and Carole started talking about the new toy Sarah wanted.  
>Rachel looked at Emma who was sitting there staring at her plate. "You okay, Em?" Rachel whispered.<br>Emma shook her head.  
>Rachel nudged Finn. "I'm going to take her outside for a little," she whispered.<br>Finn nodded. Rachel tapped Emma's shoulder and whispered, "How about you and I take a quick walk?"  
>Emma nodded, looking close to tears. "Okay."<br>Rachel took Emma's hand and lead her outside. "Want to talk?" Rachel asked as soon as they were outside.  
>"Nope," Emma whispered.<br>"I know you're upset, sweetie, but you can't shut everyone out. You need to talk."  
>"I'm really upset Mom. About lots of things."<br>"Well, what else?"  
>"I miss how things used to be, Mom. I miss the days when we were just a normal family and everything didn't revolve around one thing. I know this is a big deal, Mom, but I want things to be normal again."<br>Rachel sighed. "I'm so sorry you have to go through this."  
>"Do you think this will ever be over and things will ever be normal again?" Emma asked.<br>Rachel sat down and pulled Emma into her arms. "I don't know when, but I truly believe that one day, this be behind us for good."  
>Emma hugged Rachel. "I love you, Mommy."<br>Rachel kissed Emma and began stroking her daughter's shoulder length hair. "I love you too, sweetheart. And I love your dad and your brothers and your sister. I believe if we stick together, we can make it through anything."  
>Emma looked up at Rachel and smiled. "I feel better now, Mom. Can I go have dinner now?"<br>Rachel smiled back, feeling glad for having helped her daughter. "Of course."


	5. Chapter 5: Out of the Hospital

__Thanks for all your nice comments. Sorry I'm slow - I've been writing these chapters on my phone and been sending them to my e-mail, then posting them. So if there's any errors, it's because I write them on a tiny screen and don't have much time to look over them online. Enjoy and comment if you want me to keep going.__

__Chapter 5: Out of the Hospital

"King me."  
>Ryan smirked as Jack placed one checker on top of one of his. After a week, Ryan, Emma and Sarah were granted permission to visit Jack. It had been a long week. Just all being together again seemed to lift the kids' spirits. The past week had been hard - Jack was in a lot of pain, while Ryan, Emma and Sarah were generally just down. Tomorrow, the Evans family was going to be in Cleveland. Finn was trying to talk Rachel into going out with Quinn and the girls while he went to the Browns game with Ryan, Sam and Adam.<br>"Who wants some cookies?" Rachel asked, bringing a plate of cookies in for the kids.  
>"Me!" all four kids shouted. The three older kids ran up to their mother while Jack lay in his bed. He was still recovering from chemo, but he looked better. He was still wearing equipment, and he had mouth sores and had lost his hair. Thanks to Finn he wasn't alone in the last one. He'd stopped vomiting, but still got headaches and nausea and was tired a lot. He still had a big appetite, even bigger than before if possible. That was obvious as he gobbled down two of Rachel's cookies.<br>"It's so nice to see all four of them together again," Finn whispered to Rachel.  
>Rachel smiled and nodded. The good thing about the kids being kids was they were easily distracted. Had they not been in a hospital room, they could easily seem like four siblings from a typical family.<br>"Hello, Hudsons." Finn and Rachel turned to see Kurt and Blaine standing there.  
>"Kurt! Blaine!" Rachel gasped, giving them each a hug. "What are you guys doing here?"<br>"I came to help my brother and see my nephew," Kurt said.  
>"But how'd you get to his room?" Finn asked.<br>Blaine smiled. "We're family. Of course they let us in."  
>Kurt looked at Finn and rolled his eyes. "Finn, I'm going to be a good brother and tell you that you look awful. Was it really necessary to shave off your poor lovely hair?"<br>Finn rolled his eyes. At least Kurt was still acting like Kurt, always critiquing everyone's looks."I don't like it either, Kurt, but at least when I do this, Jack won't be alone and have someone who chose to look like him."  
>"Whatever, Finn." Kurt turned to Rachel. "You look really pretty with your hair shorter."<br>Rachel smiled. "Thanks, Kurt."  
>Kurt then scanned the room. "For a place called Rainbow Babies and Children's hospital, this place doesn't have much color."<br>Normally Finn was annoyed by Kurt's obsession with fashion and style, but today he was grateful for the distraction.  
>"So, the Evanses are coming to Cleveland tomorrow," Rachel said.<br>"Awesome!" Kurt said. "Me, Rachel and Quinn are going shopping."  
>"I think I'm going to be at the hospital tomorrow," Rachel said. "Finn's going to be at the Browns game with Ryan, Sam and Adam."<br>Finn put his arm around Rachel. "No, Rach. You need a break. Go do girl stuff with Quinn and our daughters."  
>"I'll hang out with Jack tomorrow," Blaine said. "Rachel needs to get out and I know Kurt's going to want to hang out with Rachel and Quinn."Rachel shook her head and rolled her eyes. "Fine. To please all of you, I'll go out tomorrow."<br>Finn kissed Rachel on the forehead, feeling a weight lifted. "You need to go out and have fun, Rach."  
>Rachel kissed back. "So do you, Finny." But Finn was convinced Rachel needed it more. Neither of them had spent much time outside the hospital since Jack got sick, but Finn had been the main one to take the three older kids to school and sports or be home with them at night. Finn was very worried about Rachel. From their high school days she'd been very fragile and emotional. Simple things could shatter her. When there was a big blow it would temporarily destroy her life. Finn felt the need to be strong, even though both he and Rachel were dying on the inside.<br>"Tomorrow's going to be a stress free day, Finny," Rachel said.  
>Finn smiled and ran his hands through Rachel's hair, tucking a strand of it behind her ear. "You're so beautiful. Despite all the pain we've been through, I'm so happy we got married. I love you."<br>Rachel gave Finn a hug. "I love you too."  
>Finn put his arm around Rachel as they watched their children laughing with Kurt and Blaine. Things were finally looking up. "I think maybe letting our families and friends help us was the best decision we could have made. The kids love Kurt and Blaine."<br>x  
>The next morning, Blaine was at the hospital with Jack while Finn and Ryan took the train downtown to meet up with Sam and Adam. Kurt, Rachel, Emma and Sarah were meeting up with Quinn and Maddie at the mall. Then in the evening the doctors were letting Jack leave the hospital for two hours so they could all go to dinner together. It was the first time Jack would be leaving the hospital since he got sick. To say Finn was nervous was an understatement. What if Jack got germs? What if people stared?<br>"I can't wait to see Adam and Uncle Sam!" Ryan said to Finn.  
>Finn smiled at his son. "Neither can I." He loved how the Glee club had stayed close all these years and were like one big family. All their kids considered the other New Directions alumni their aunts and uncles. At least once a year everyone got together in Lima. He hoped his kids would one day have a group of friends like that.<br>The train pulled into Tower City. Finn and Ryan got off the train and went to meet Sam and Adam inside.  
>Sam hid a smirk as soon as he saw Finn. "Changed your look, I see."<br>"It's okay, Sam, I don't think I rock the bald look. I just did it so Jack would have someone who looked like him."  
>"Got it," Sam said.<br>"How are the seats?" Finn asked.  
>Sam pulled out the tickets. "Lower concourse. Near the 30 yard line."<br>Finn smiled. "That's great."  
>Sam smiled back. "I'm glad to see you're being stress free. I heard from Quinn who heard from Kurt that today's going to be a stress free day."<br>"Kurt's still a gossip," Finn said.  
>Sam laughed as Adam came over. "Daddy, Uncle Finn, when are we going to the stadium?"<br>"Let's go," Sam said. "How've you been, Ryan? I heard you've started soccer."  
>"Yeah, it's fun," Ryan said. "I like it."<br>"Very cool," Sam said. "What's your number?"  
>Ryan smiled at Finn. "Five of course. Just like my dad for his sports in high school."<br>Finn smiled back. He was glad Sam was succeeding in keeping Ryan's mind off Jack's illness.  
>"We have our first game tomorrow," Ryan said as Finn felt a sting of guilt. He'd totally forgotten because he was so preoccupied by Jack's illness. Was he that bad of a parent? He put his arm around Ryan, trying to help his guilt go away. "I can't wait for your game tomorrow."<br>Ryan gave Finn a surprised look. "I didn't think you'd go. I thought you'd be at the hospital."  
>"Jack is not my only child, Ryan. You and Emma and Sarah are still just as important."<br>Sam leaned in and whispered, "Were you planning on going?"  
>Finn whispered back, "I'd forgotten and I feel terrible."<br>Sam patted Finn's shoulder.  
>Finn, Ryan, Sam and Adam went into the stadium to watch the game against the Pittsburgh Steelers. The Browns' biggest rivals were the Steelers - or rather, the Browns fans hated the Steelers and the Steelers loved beating the Browns. Today, however, things were going differently. The Browns got ahead in the first period and just stayed ahead from there. While watching the game, talking with Sam and listening to their sons, Finn was able to get his mind off things.<br>"Thanks for letting us come with you," Finn said to Sam as they left the arena.  
>"It's what friends do," Sam said. "You needed a day out of the hospital. Let's go to dinner."Finn and Sam drove to the restaurant they were going to for dinner. Kurt and Quinn were waiting outside the restaurant with Emma, Sarah and Maddie.<br>"How was shopping?" Sam asked.  
>Maddie grinned. "Shopping is ALWAYS fun when Uncle Kurt takes us."<br>Finn looked at his daughters. "Did you two have fun?"  
>"Oh yeah!" Emma said as Sarah nodded. "I got two new sweaters. They're really pretty."<br>"Good," Finn said. He just noticed Rachel wasn't there. "Where's your mom?"  
>"She's getting Jack at the hospital and they'll meet us here soon," Quinn said.<br>"Oh look. Here they come now," Kurt said, pointing at Blaine's car. Blaine got out of the car and opened the door as Rachel loaded Jack into a wheelchair. Rachel wheeled Jack up to the restaurant as Blaine followed. Despite the fact that his son was in a wheelchair, wrapped in a blanket and looked tired, Finn couldn't help but smile at the sight of his son back in civilization.  
>Ryan, Emma, Sarah, Adam and Maddie ran up to Jack and flocked the six kids began jabbering, Rachel and Blaine came up to Finn, Kurt, Sam and Quinn. "Did you and the guys have fun?" Rachel asked, standing on her tiptoes to give Finn a quick peck on the cheek.<br>"Yes I did," Finn said with a smile. "What about you? Did you and Kurt and the girls have fun?"  
>"Oh yeah. Just to let you know, I let our two splurge a little. I just - feel bad about everything they're going through."<br>"I understand," Finn said. "I totally forgot Ryan's first soccer game is tomorrow."  
>Rachel sighed. "So did I. What has become of us, Finny?"<br>"We're parents of a kid with cancer and three healthy kids, Rach," Finn said. "We need to focus on the three healthy kids more than we have. Luckily, we did that today."  
>Rachel gave Finn a hug. "I love you."<br>Finn hugged back. "I love you too."  
>"Hey Finchel, are you ready for dinner?" Quinn said.<br>Finn smiled. "Sorry, we were just talking. And yeah, we're ready."  
>Finn and Rachel went to the long table they'd reserved. Jack's wheelchair sat at the foot of the table. Finn and Rachel sat on either side of him, with Sam on Finn's other side and Quinn on Rachel's other side. Kurt was beside Quinn and Blaine was beside Sam, while the other kids sat near the head of the table.<br>"How was he at the hospital today?" Finn asked Blaine. "He slept most of the day," Blaine said. "I don't think he's getting any sicker."  
>Finn breathed a sigh of relief. He turned to Jack. "Hungry tonight?"<br>"Oh yeah!" Jack said. At least that hadn't changed. Jack had always had a big appetite, bigger than any of his siblings'. He always ate the leftovers off the plates of his parents and siblings at dinner. "I want a deluxe cheeseburger and the large fries," Jack told Finn. "Oh, and a chocolate milkshake."  
>Typically Finn didn't allow his kids to eat such high calorie meals, but Jack never got out anymore. He was relieved when Ryan, Emma and Sarah ordered smaller, more healthy meals. The Hudson, Evans and Hummel-Anderson families enjoyed a nice dinner together before the two hours were up and it was time to take Jack back to the hospital. Kurt, Blaine, Sam and Quinn hung out at the house with the Hudson and Evans kids while Finn and Rachel took Jack to his room. As they left Rachel took Finn's arm. "He seemed great today."<br>"I think getting out of the hospital might have been what he needed," Finn said.  
>"I think today was what we all needed," Rachel said. "I'm so glad New Directions came into our lives."<br>Finn squeezed Rachel's hand. "So am I."


	6. Chapter 6: Distractions

__Hey, I've been sticking with weekly updates. I'm happy with how this chapter turned out and am already at work on the next one. PLEASE review if you want me to continue.__

__Chapter 6: Distractions

A month had passed. Jack had undergone another round of chemotherapy and a third scheduled for the next day.  
>Finn and Rachel were surprised by how well treatment was going for Jack. After his second treatment, he was released from the hospital after one day.<br>Things continued to be chaotic at the Hudson household. Despite their best efforts to stop neglecting their three oldest kids, Finn and Rachel put most of their energy into taking care of Jack and babying him. The night before Jack's third round of chemo, Rachel called her dads and asked them to spend the weekend with Jack so she and Finn could spend it with Ryan, Emma and Sarah.  
>"Sarah has wanted to get her ears pierced for a while now," Rachel said to Finn as they sat in the waiting room during Jack's chemo. "I think we should give in to her request. I know in the past our rule was not before ten and that's what we did with Emma, but back then things were normal for us. I'm also feeling terrible guilt knowing that I missed her recital at school when Jack was having chemo. This could be something fun for Sarah, Emma and me to do this weekend while Dad and Daddy are with Jack."<br>"It would probably be good for you and the girls to do something this weekend," Finn said. "Ryan has a soccer game in Akron this weekend, so I'd like to take him to it and then do something afterwards."  
>"I feel guilty about not spending time with Jack this weekend, but we have to remember that we've been spending LESS time with Ryan, Emma and Sarah," Rachel said. "Ever since Jack got sick it's been all about him. This weekend can be all about Ryan, Emma and Sarah."<br>Finn leaned in and kissed Rachel on the forehead. "I like the sound of that."  
>x<br>Jack's doctors wanted to keep him in the hospital a few extra days after this round of chemo. Finn and Rachel felt slightly guilty leaving him, but they knew Rachel's dads would take care of him while they spent much delayed quality time with their older children. On Saturday morning Finn and Ryan took off for Akron for Ryan's soccer game while Rachel, Emma and Sarah got in the car to go to the mall.  
>"Why aren't you and Daddy at the hospital?" Emma asked as they drove.<br>Rachel smiled. "Grandpa Hiram and Grandpa Leroy are hanging out with Jack today, so I could spend time with my girls. Besides, I have a surprise. Sarah, you know how you've wanted to get your ears pierced?"  
>Sarah made a pouty face. "Yeah Mommy, and I remember what you said when Emma got hers done. Not until I'm ten."<br>Rachel smiled at Sarah through the mirror. "Well, Daddy and I talked about it and we think that Emma could have done it a lot earlier and you're ready."  
>Sarah got a big smile. "When can I get them done?"<br>"How about today?" Rachel asked. "We're going to the mall now."  
>Sarah started bouncing in her seat. "Oh, yes! Thank you, Mommy!"<br>"While we're there, can I get my second hole?" Emma asked. "Olivia got her second hole."  
>Even in difficult times, there were limitations, though it was good the girls were distracted. "No, Emma. No more piercings."<br>Emma pouted. Rachel had to think fast. "I'll buy you whatever you want at the mall."  
>"I guess that's fair," Emma sighed.<br>"It is," Rachel said as she heard her phone ring. She looked and saw that her Dad was calling, but decided not to answer. This was a day for her and her daughters.  
>x<br>Finn drove to Akron with Ryan sitting in front next to him. "Excited for your game today?" Finn asked.  
>"Yeah, soccer is so much fun," Ryan said. "I don't know if you know because you missed my last three games because you were with Jack, but we're undefeated."<br>Finn felt a sting of guilt. Emma and Sarah had gone to all three of those games with friends, but Finn felt so guilty that he and Rachel were constantly missing their son's games.  
>"You're so proud of me you don't know what to say, right Dad?"<br>Finn smiled at his son. "That's right."  
>"And in today's game, I'm going to score a goal," Ryan said. "Then I'll point to you in the stands so everyone there knows you're my dad. When I scored a goal in the last game, I pointed at Emma and Sarah in the stands."<br>Like father, like son. Finn always used to point to Rachel in the stands when he scored points in football, basketball and baseball games.  
>Finn's phone went off. He saw that it was Rachel's dad Hiram calling, but decided not to answer. Today was about Ryan, not Jack.<br>x  
>"Which starter set do you want?" the clerk at Claire's asked Sarah, handing her the board with all their starter sets options for earrings.<br>Sarah turned to Rachel. "I have to go to the bathroom."  
>Rachel recognized this from when she felt nervous right before getting her ears pierced. She knew Sarah was chickening out, but would regret it if she ended up not going through with it. "Then let's hurry up and get this done so you don't wet your pants," Rachel said.<br>"How about you get your birthstone? That's what I did," Emma said.  
>Sarah looked. "Yeah, it's pretty."<br>Rachel held one of Sarah's hands and Emma held the other at the earrings were shot in with a piercing gun. As soon as they were done, Rachel brought back Sarah's cold feet excuse. "Okay Sarah, let's go to the bathroom now."  
>"Oh, I don't have to go now," Sarah said. "Take my picture Mommy. On your phone, so we can send it to Uncle Kurt and Aunt Quinn."<br>Rachel took one of just Sarah and then one of both girls and sent the pictures to Kurt and Quinn. As soon as she sent the pictures, her phone rang again, this time from her other dad. Rachel sighed and turned off the phone. Today was her day off from the hospital.  
>x<br>"Ryan Hudson scores another goal. Cleveland Heights leads, 4-1."  
>Finn cheered as Ryan scored another goal. Ryan stayed true to his word and pointed at Finn in the stands. Finn smiled with pride. His son was such a great player and was also clearly a leader on the team.<br>"So you're Ryan Hudson's dad?" the dad next to Finn asked.  
>Finn smiled and nodded. "He's mine."<br>"Ryan has a good kick," the man continued. He's got lots of potential, I can see him becoming the star of the team, but he seems to have his head in the sky rather than the game at times. It takes a lot for my son to say this, but he thinks Ryan's as good a player as he is."  
>Finn smiled. "Thanks." He did feel a twinge of guilt about Ryan being unfocused at times, but this guy didn't know their family situation.<br>Finn felt his phone vibrate and looked down. It was Rachel's dad Leroy. Finn felt like he should answer, but let the call go to voicemail before turning off the phone. Too many times lately, he compromised the emotional needs of his older kids for the physical needs of Jack.  
>x<br>Rachel, Emma and Sarah were arriving back at the hospital to meet up with Finn and Ryan. The stop at Claire's had only been the beginning of their fun afternoon at the mall. Rachel had totally splurged, buying her daughters new clothes, accessories, toys and books, even took them out to ice cream. Today, they had been a typical mother and two daughters. Had they not had to drive back to the hospital, Rachel easily could have forgotten.  
>Rachel, Emma and Sarah walked into the lobby to see Finn and Ryan (who was still in his soccer uniform).<br>"I got my ears pierced!" Sarah shouted, pointing at her earrings and running up to her father and brother.  
>"They look very nice," Finn said.<br>"Whatever," Ryan mumbled.  
>Emma rolled her eyes. "You are such a boy."<br>"How was the game?" Rachel asked Finn.  
>"It went well," Finn replied. "They won 5-2 and he scored two goals."<br>"That's good," Rachel said. "I need to get to one of his games."  
>"Maybe next weekend you can go to his game and I can do something with Emma and Sarah. Nothing too girly though."<br>Rachel stood on her tiptoes to kiss Finn. "Sounds good to me."  
>Finn, Rachel, Ryan, Emma and Sarah got on the elevator to the pediatric oncology ward. A they got off the elevator, Rachel's dads ran up to them.<br>"Why the hell were you not answering your phones this afternoon?" Leroy shouted as other people in the waiting room looked over. "Your son has cancer and you're ignoring calls from the hospital? What is wrong with you two? What kind of parents are you?"  
>Rachel couldn't believe what her dad was saying to her. "We have three other children and needed to spend time with them."<br>"Did you seriously just say that?" Leroy shouted. "Jack's sick. These three should come second -"  
>At this point Rachel was too angry to speak. She could tell Ryan, Emma and Sarah were hurt by their grandfather's words. Luckily, Finn took over. "Hiram, Leroy, let me explain. Rachel and I worry that we may be neglecting our other kids, and we want them to know we still love them, so we decided to make today focused on them -"<br>"Stop right there, Finn!" Hiram shouted. Now Rachel had had enough. For her fathers to yell at her was one thing, for them to yell at Finn was another.  
>"The doctor wants to see you two. Immediately. You may have spent today with your three healthy children but you still do have a son with cancer and his doctor wants to see you."<br>Rachel's heart skipped a beat. Maybe it wasn't a good idea to have taken the other kids out today. This couldn't be good news.  
>"Will you two please watch these three?" Rachel asked her dads. "Finn and I will go talk to the doctors."<br>"We will," Hiram said right before Finn and Rachel went into Jack's room. Jack was sleeping, but two of his doctors were standing there. "Mr. and Mrs. Hudson, I thought you might be here sooner," the doctor said.  
>Rachel looked down in shame. "I'm sorry. We were just spending time with our other kids today. It feels like we don't really get to anymore, almost as if we've forgotten them. We turned off our phones so today they wouldn't be overshadowed by Jack's medical problems."<br>The doctor smiled at Finn and Rachel. "At least you two make an effort to spend time with your other children. Some parents completely let the news about the cancer take over. But it probably wasn't a good idea to turn off your phones, especially today."  
>"What happened?" Finn asked.<br>"Well, we've been collecting samples of Jack's blood and x rays after each round of chemo," the doctor said. "His cancer hasn't been progressing, but it hasn't been going away, either. We're beginning to think chemo may be ineffective."  
>Rachel grabbed Finn's hand, her eyes filling with tears.<br>"I'm sorry, Mr. and Mrs. Hudson," the doctor continued. "There's one more thing we can try but I don't know if it will work. You may want to start preparing yourselves for the loss of your son."  
>"No! He's not going to die!" Rachel said as tears fell. Jack couldn't die. He couldn't.<br>"What can we try?" Finn said."The only hope for your son, the only possible hope, is a bone marrow transplant. You two can be tested to see if you're a match, your other three children can, but I don't know if it can work."  
>"We've got to try it," Finn said.<br>"I'm willing to do whatever it takes to save Jack," Rachel said, staring at her son sleeping on his bed.


	7. Chapter 7: Searching

__So the internet at camp was lousy this week, which is why I haven't been commenting on your stories. So sorry! The only reason I can update is I write this on my phone and send it to my e-mail. Hope you enjoy - review if I should keep going.__

__Chapter 7: Searching

Finn, Rachel, Ryan, Emma and Sarah had all had bone marrow drawn to see if they were potential donors for Jack. Finn and Rachel had given all three of the other kids the option of not having their marrow drawn, warned them it would be painful, but all three kids insisted, saying they wanted to help their brother. It was not easy at all. Sarah screamed of pain while her bone marrow sample was being drawn and Ryan stayed home from school for a few days with side effects. Finn and Rachel hated that their three oldest kids were in pain too, but remembered they'd all chosen to do this.  
>x<br>"Finn, Rachel, we have bone marrow test results from you and your three older children."  
>A week after the bone marrow was taken, Finn and Rachel sat in the oncologist's office, waiting to hear who could be Jack's savior.<br>"Well?" Finn asked.  
>"Unfortunately, neither of you are a match, nor are any of your other children," the doctor said.<br>Finn felt as if all life had been sucked out of him. Maybe there was really no hope for Jack. He looked at Rachel, not knowing what to say. Rachel looked from Finn to the doctor. "Could we test our extended family? Or our friends?"  
>"It's pretty hard to find a donor. He has a rare blood type. Chances are if you were going to find a match it would be a family member."<br>"Are you saying we should or shouldn't ask our extended family to be tested?" Rachel asked.  
>"You can have them tested, but there's little hope of finding a match."<br>Finn nodded. "Little hope or a lot of hope, we want a match for our son and we'll do whatever it takes to get one."  
>The doctor sighed. "Mr. and Mrs. Hudson, I know it's important to feel like you never gave up, but sooner or later we will reach a point where you'll have to say, 'We did everything we could, but it's time to let him go.'"<br>Finn struggled to hold in his anger after that comment. "You must not have ever had a child you loved or you wouldn't say things like that."  
>"I have two children," the doctor said. "I love them as you love Jack. Let me ask you something though: do you want to see your son suffer?"<br>"We'll find a match," Rachel said with fierce determination. "I don't know who but we'll ask everyone we can."  
>x<br>"We don't have very many biological relatives," Rachel said as they left. "I mean, Kurt and Beth aren't biological, I don't know which of my dads is my blood dad..."  
>Finn laughed. He loved how Rachel liked to say she didn't know which of her dads was her real dad when he thought it was pretty obvious. "Rachel, unless your mom's genes are totally dominant, I think it's pretty clear who your birth dad is."<br>"You know what? Biological or not, I think we should have anyone tested who's willing to be. No more kids, though. I'm not willing to see any more kids go through what Ryan, Emma and Sarah went through."  
>"I was thinking the same thing," Finn agreed. "And if anyone doesn't want to do it, we shouldn't make them."<br>Rachel nodded and kissed Finn's cheek. "I like the way you think, Finn.""I just hope we find someone," Finn said sadly.  
>"We will," Rachel said tentatively. They looked sadly at each other, both unsure if they'd find someone.<br>When Finn and Rachel got home, all four kids were sitting on the couch, eating chips and salsa while watching cartoons. Finn sighed. More than likely there wouldn't be too many more moments for all four Hudson kids to spend together.  
>x<br>Finn and Rachel called their parents and siblings to see about being tested for a bone marrow transplant for Jack. Burt, Carole, Kurt, Blaine, Hiram, Leroy and Shelby were all more than willing to be tested. Beth wanted to try but Rachel didn't want to see her sister go through the pain her kids went through. Finn also told Kurt and Blaine that there was no way he was going to let them test their sons and told his parents there was no way he'd let them test Ally. Maybe with so many people being tested, someone would be a match.  
>Sadly, after all the results came in, no one was a match. The doctor told Finn and Rachel that they could try finding an unrelated donor,but it was less likely and more risky. Finn thought Rachel had said it best: "We've got to do it."<br>"You can try, but there's little hope of finding a donor," the doctor said.  
>"We're still holding on to hope," Finn said before he and Rachel left. As soon as they were out of the office he turned to Rachel. "I swear, it's as if they don't want us to keep trying."<br>Rachel took Finn's hand. "I don't know..."  
>Finn thought for a moment. "Well, I guess we have to be realistic. I mean, it can't hurt to be optimistic but at the same time we can't be in total denial."<br>Rachel gave Finn a kiss. "We can do this. After all, we are Finchel."  
>Finn smiled at his wife. After all these years, she still never failed to amaze him. Then he heard his phone beep, alerting him he had a new text message. He opened the text, which was from Puck. <em>Are you guys coming to Lima for New Directions' invitational this weekend?<em> Finn had totally forgotten about the invitational. Normally they went to it every year to see the new high school kids and catch up with their Glee friends. Since Jack got sick, they barely had spoken to anyone from Glee except Kurt and Blaine, and Sam and Quinn.  
>"Who was that?" Rachel asked.<br>"Puck," Finn replied. "He's wondering if we're going to the New Directions invitational this weekend."  
>Rachel smiled. "Well, of course we are! It'll be great to see our friends, and I bet Ryan, Emma and Sarah would like to hang out with the kids."<br>"Rachel..." Finn was thinking out loud. "Do you think maybe someone from Glee might be a match for Jack?"  
>"We could ask them, it's definitely worth a shot," Rachel said.<br>x  
>That weekend, Finn, Rachel, Ryan, Emma and Sarah were in the car to Lima to spend the night and go to the invitational. Some of their friends in Cleveland agreed to watch Jack for the weekend. The doctors didn't think Jack was well enough to travel.<br>As soon as they pulled into the parking lot and began walking toward the school, Finn heard a familiar voice. "Finn! Rachel!"Finn turned to see Mr. Schuester, who was still the director of New Directions after all these years, his wife, their former guidance counselor Ms. Pillsbury (now Mrs. Schuester), and their three children walking towards them.  
>"Hey, Mr. Schue," Rachel said with a big smile.<br>"Rachel, I've been saying this since you graduated, I'm not your teacher anymore. Call me Will," Mr. Schue said. "I wasn't expecting you guys. How've you been holding up?"  
>Finn shrugged. "We're hanging in there." He tilted his head toward Ryan, Emma and Sarah, who were already laughing with the Schuester kids. "I'm most worried about those three."<br>"Of course you are," Mrs. Schuester said as they walked in.  
>"I'm glad you guys came tonight," Mr. Schuester said. "Seeing your old friends and hearing the music will be good for you."<br>Finn smiled as they walked inside. "That's why we came."  
>As they entered the auditorium, Finn noticed that the entire New Directions Class of 2012 was there.<br>Santana came over to Rachel and hugged her, something Finn never would have believed possible in high school. Santana and Rachel weren't even civil to each other until senior year. "How are you guys doing?" Santana asked.  
>"Yeah, we're really sorry," Brittany said, coming over.<br>"Thanks," Finn said, forcing a smile. "We're doing as well as we can be."  
>"Just let us know if there's anything we can do," Mercedes said.<br>Rachel smiled. "You're all still so amazing."  
>"How are the other kids?" Puck asked Finn quietly.<br>Finn sighed and whispered to avoid the other young kids around hearing. "They say they're fine but I don't think they are. They're quiet and moody. The only thing that brings smiles to their faces is being in settings with no reminders of Jack's illness."  
>Puck patted Finn's back. "I don't know how you're doing it."<br>"At times, neither do I," Finn said.  
>The show began soon after they shut down. The current member of New Directions were amazing and the male and female lead singers, Nick and Grace, were both very talented. At the end of the New Directions performance, Mr. Schue took the center of the stage to speak. "The 2024-2025 members of New Directions would like to dedicate our final song tonight to our first ever New Directions captains, Finn Hudson and Rachel Berry Hudson. Finn, Rachel and their four young children are currently going through a very hard time. During their time in New Directions, Finn and Rachel always supported everyone and were there for everyone else. We want to let them know that although they graduated years ago, they are still part of our family and we are all thinking of them in this hard time."<p>

_Grace:  
>You're not alone<br>Together we stand  
>I'll be by your side, you know<br>I'll take your hand  
>Nick:<br>When it gets cold  
>And it feels like the end<br>There's no place to go  
>You know I won't give in<br>Grace and Nick:  
>No I won't give in<br>New Directions:  
>Keep holding on<br>'Cause you know we'll make it through,  
>We'll make it through<br>Just stay strong  
>'Cause you know I'm here for you,<br>I'm here for you  
>There's nothing you could say<br>Nothing you could do  
>There's no other way when it comes to the truth<br>So keep holding on  
>'Cause you know we'll make it through, we'll make it through<br>Nick:  
>So far away I wish you were here<br>Before it's too late, this could all disappear  
>Nick and Grace:<br>Before the doors close  
>And it comes to an end<br>With you by my side  
>I will fight and defend<br>I'll fight and defend  
>Yeah, yeah<br>New Directions:  
>Keep holding on<br>'Cause you know we'll make it through, we'll make it through  
>Just stay strong<br>'Cause you know I'm here for you, I'm here for you  
>There's nothing you could say<br>Nothing you could do  
>There's no other way when it comes to the truth<br>So keep holding on 'Cause you know we'll make it through, we'll make it through.  
>Grace and Nick:<br>Hear me when I say, when I say I believe  
>Nothing's gonna change, nothing's gonna change destiny<br>Whatever's meant to be will work out perfectly  
>Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah<br>La da da da  
>La da da da<br>La da da da da da da da da...  
>New Directions:<br>Keep holding on  
>'Cause you know we'll make it through,<br>We'll make it through  
>Just stay strong<br>'Cause you know I'm here for you, I'm here for you  
>There's nothing you could say<br>Nothing you could do  
>There's no other way when it comes to the truth<br>So keep holding on  
>'Cause you know we'll make it through, we'll make it through<br>Keep holding on  
>Keep holding on<br>There's nothing you could say  
>Nothing you could do<br>There's no other way when it comes to the truth  
>So keep holding on<br>'Cause you know we'll make it through,  
>We'll make it through.<em>

Rachel was leaning against Finn crying as Mr. Schue ended his speech. Finn didn't start crying until the current members of New Directions started singing "Keep Holding On," led by Nick and Grace, and their former teammates turned to them and started singing along, directing it at Ryan, Emma and Sarah. Even Emma was crying at the end of the song. "Thank you," Finn said tearfully as the performance ended.  
>New Directions was still winning, and the invitational was no exception. After the show, the Class of 2012 went to Sam and Quinn's house for sandwiches and wine. The children played in the basement while the adults talked in the living room. The subject of the cancer was mostly being avoided, but Kurt suddenly blurted out that no one in the Berry-Corcoran and Hudson-Hummel families had been a match for Jack and he needed a bone marrow transplant.<br>"Why didn't you tell me?" Sam asked Finn.  
>"I just didn't want to worry you guys," Finn said.<br>"We didn't want you to feel pressured to be tested for a match," Rachel added.  
>"Of course we're going to be tested," Quinn said. "We still love you two and your kids. We'll do what it takes to help Jack get better."<br>The rest of the group expressed their agreement.  
>Finn and Rachel looked at each other and sighed. "Thank you," Rachel said.<br>x  
>Two weeks later, all the New Directions members had been tested to see if anyone was a match for Jack. Finn was so nervous as he and Rachel sat in the waiting room. This may be the last chance.<br>"Well, we have the test results, and you'll be happy to know one person was a match," the doctor said.  
>"Someone was a match?" Finn asked, smiling wide. Now there was a possibility Jack could get better.<br>"Who?" Rachel asked with a big smile.


	8. Chapter 8: The Transplant

__Internet at camp still sucks and I was sick this week, but I still managed to write another chapter and in three weeks I'll be home. Thanks for reading and commenting. Review if you want me to keep going.__

__Chapter 8: The Transplant

Rachel rolled over in bed, struggling to get some sleep. Bone marrow had been taken from the donor and tomorrow would be Jack's transplant. If the transplant failed, Jack was most likely not going to survive his cancer and would likely die within a few weeks. The transplant was a risky process, the doctors had told Finn and Rachel multiple times, and even it did not guarantee survival.  
>Lying awake in bed, Rachel thought about everything that had happened to Ryan and Emma over the last five years. They'd lost teeth, learned to ride bikes, performed in the district-wide musical production, learned to play instruments, started playing sports and gone to sleepaway camp. All since they'd been Jack's age. Jack may never get to do any of that.<br>For the past two months the Hudson family's lives had been defined by fear, uncertainty, sadness and need, but also by love, hope, family, friendship and support. Many sacrifices had been made. There had probably been a dozen sleepless nights. Finances were becoming more and more limited. Finn and Rachel were both exhausted emotionally and physically.  
>Rachel looked at Finn who was lying next to her in bed. "You awake, Finn?" Rachel whispered.<br>"Yeah," Finn said. He pulled Rachel in for one of those hugs that only he could give.  
>"Finn..." Rachel began.<br>"What is it, Rach?" Finn whispered.  
>"Remember at Sectionals our sophomore year when you said all we had was that we believed in ourselves and what we were doing?"<br>Finn smiled and nodded. "Yeah, I remember."  
>"Well... I think that's our situation now, too," Rachel said. "The odds are against him, but we believe that Jack can fight that cancer and that together, we'll get through this."<br>Finn gave Rachel a kiss. "I love you."  
>Rachel kissed Finn. "I love you, too."<br>"He'll be okay," Finn said.  
>Rachel nodded. "Definitely." But she wasn't so sure.<br>x  
>"We can not thank you enough for doing this," Finn said. It was the next day, and the waiting room was packed with Rachel, Finn, Ryan, Emma, Sarah, Burt, Carole, Ally, Hiram, Leroy, Shelby, Beth, Kurt, Blaine, Michael, Brendan, and the one whose bone marrow would be placed in Jack's body - Santana.<br>"I'm glad I was a match," Santana said.  
>"How've you been feeling?" Rachel asked, feeling guilty about her classmate donating bone marrow. They hadn't even been respectful to each other until senior year, hadn't really been friends until college. Now it may be her bone marrow that could save Jack's life.<br>"Recovering from having bone marrow removed isn't easy, but it's nothing compared to what Jack's going through," Santana said.  
>"Thank you," Rachel said, her eyes filling with tears. "Thank you."<br>Santana pulled Rachel in and hugged her tight.  
>"Mommy?" Rachel looked up to see Sarah standing there.<br>"What is it, honey?" Rachel asked.  
>"May I sit on your lap?" Sarah asked.<br>Rachel nodded and pulled her daughter on to her lap. "Of course you can." Poor Sarah. When Rachel was six, she didn't even know what cancer was. Now her six-year-old daughter was experiencing it first hand. Six-year-olds were supposed to worry about where their toys were, what would be in their lunch or who would be willing to be their partner. Sarah was forced to worry about whether not her brother would still be alive in another year.  
>"Will Jack be okay?" Sarah asked.<br>Rachel's policy her whole life had been to be honest with her kids, but this time she had to lie. "He'll be fine."  
>"Are you sure?" Sarah asked.<br>"I know," Rachel lied. "Don't you worry."  
>Rachel looked sadly at Finn. Finn looked back. They'd gotten so many people involved, so death would be more than a loss to the Hudson family. It would be as if they'd gotten all these people involved for nothing.<br>Rachel turned on her phone to find text messages from several of her friends.  
><em>From: Tina<br>Any word on the surgery? How's Jack? And how are you and Finn and the kids?  
>From: Quinn<br>Sending you lots of love and all the best today. I love you!  
>From: Mercedes<br>Let me know how it goes. thinking of you all today._  
>A doctor came into the room. "You're all here for Jack Hudson?"<br>"Yes doctor," Finn said. "I'm his father, this is his mother. These are family members and friends.  
>"How's Jack doing?" Rachel asked.<br>"Well the bone marrow was successfully accepted. He's pretty wiped out. It's too early to know how successful the transplant was successful. He's too vulnerable for many people to see him now. He was asking for his parents, so I'll let them go in, but everyone else needs to wait until tomorrow."  
>"I'll watch Ryan, Emma and Sarah," Santana said.<br>Rachel smiled. "Thanks." She took Finn's hand and followed the doctor into Jack's room. "Daddy?" Jack whispered.  
>Finn kneeled down next to to Jack's bed. "I'm here, honey," Finn whispered. "Mommy and I are both here with you."<br>Jack opened his eyes. "Daddy! Mommy!"  
>Finn and Rachel took their son into their arms. "I love you, Jack," Finn whispered.<br>"I love you too, Daddy," Jack said.  
>"I love you, Jack," Rachel whispered.<br>"I love you, Mommy," Jack said.  
>"How are you feeling?" Rachel asked.<br>"It hurts, Mommy," Jack said.  
>"If this did what it was supposed to, we won't have to do any more of this. Ever," Finn said.<br>"Ever?" Jack asked.  
>"Ever," Finn said.<br>"Then I hope it worked," Jack said.  
>"So do I," Rachel said. "You have no idea."<br>"Will I ever get to go back to kindergarten?" Jack asked.  
>"I hope so," Rachel said. "Maybe not until the next school year starts."<br>"I want to go back," Jack said. "It was fun."  
>"We'll let you go back as soon as the doctors say you can," Finn said.<br>"Will you guys sing to me?" Jack asked.  
>Rachel nodded. "Of course. We don't have music, but we can sing."<br>When they finished the song, Finn and Rachel noticed Jack had fallen asleep in their arms.  
>"Jack, everything will be fine," Finn said. He and Rachel cradled Jack in their arms. They stayed there until the doctors kicked them out.<br>x  
>The next morning, Finn and Rachel went back to the hospital with Santana, their children, their parents, their siblings and nephews. The next day, Santana would be going home to Las Vegas and her family, but wanted to see Jack to see if her bone marrow had worked. Rachel still felt in infinite debt to her former enemy.<br>Today Jack was out of intensive care, so everyone could see him together. Finn and Rachel led the group into the room. Jack smiled when he saw everyone.  
>"How's my marrow treating you, Jack?" Santana asked.<br>"I think I'm okay," Jack said. "Thank you, Aunt Santana."  
>"How are you feeling today, Jack?" Ryan asked, sitting on his brother's bed.<br>"I miss you, Ryan," Jack said. "How's soccer?"  
>"It's fun," Ryan said. "I wish you could come to one of my games. We've still won all of them."<br>"That's great," Jack said. "I want to come to a game."  
>"I miss you too," Sarah said, sitting down on Jack's bed.<br>"I miss you too, Sarah," Jack said.  
>"I can't wait until you get home," Sarah said.<br>"Neither can I," Jack said.  
>Emma joined her siblings on the bed. "I was so worried about you," she told her brother.<br>"I'm fine now," Jack said.  
>Rachel felt tears in her eyes as she looked at her four children sitting cuddled together on Jack's hospital bed.<br>"Are you okay, Aunt Rachel?" Brendan asked. "You look sad."  
>Rachel couldn't believe that a four-year-old could tell. "I'm fine, Brendan." She wiped her tears.<br>"Don't be sad, Mommy," Jack said, clearly having overheard what Brendan said. "I'm okay."  
>"Okay," Rachel said as she held Finn's hand tightly.<br>Kurt put his arm around Rachel. "It'll all be fine," he whispered.  
>Rachel gave Kurt a hug. "Thank you."<br>x  
>A few hours later, Rachel was driving Santana to the airport while Finn stayed at the hospital with Jack. Kurt and Blaine had taken the three oldest kids, as well as their sons, back to the Hudson house and were heading back to New York the next day. The grandparents, Beth and Ally were already headed back to Lima.<br>After a few moments of silence, Santana spoke. "Rachel, I'm so sorry about how I treated you in high school. I'm sorry I messed up you and Finn at one point. I'm sorry I told you we all pretended to like you. I'm sorry I called you all those names."  
>"We graduated twelve years ago and we've been friends since then. Why are you apologizing?" Rachel asked.<br>"I just feel so bad, seeing you and Finn go through this," Santana said. "If one of my daughters got sick, I don't think I could get through it. You and Finn are so strong."  
>Rachel felt tears coming to her eyes. "It's so hard... I don't know how I do it. I try so hard to be strong for the kids, but the truth is every day I'm dying on the inside."<br>Santana leaned over and gave Rachel a hug. "You ARE strong, Rachel. You've been such a great mom to Ryan and Emma and Sarah. It's clear how much you and Finn love your kids and each other."  
>Rachel let a few tears fall. "Finn and the kids are the best things in my life. I don't know - if Jack dies, our fragile surface will crack."<br>"I'm so sorry, Rachel," Santana said. "I just wish there was something I could do."  
>"You've done the best thing anyone can do for us," Rachel said. "It's possible you saved Jack's life. We're forever in debt to you."<br>Santana smiled at Rachel. "He'll be fine."  
>"I hope so," Rachel said as they pulled into the airport. "Have a good flight home."<br>"Are you sure you don't want me to pay you and Finn back for my airplane tickets?" Santana asked.  
>Rachel shook her head. "We're not taking money back from you. You're potentially saving our son's life."<br>"Okay," Santana said, getting out of the car and hugging Rachel. "Just keep me updated on Jack."  
>"Will do," Rachel said, hugging back. She watched Santana leave before checking her phone to see if there was any news from the hospital. Finn's text only said that Jack had fallen asleep. Rachel also had a missed call from Quinn. She immediately called Quinn back. As soon as she answered the phone, Quinn just asked, "How did the transplant go?"<br>"I think it went okay," Rachel said. "I'm still holding on to hope."  
>"We think about you guys every day," Quinn said. "Every night at dinner Maddie says 'God Bless Uncle Finn, Aunt Rachel, Jack, Sarah, Ryan and Emma.'"<br>Rachel felt tears coming to her eyes. "It's taken its toll on us all. I've gained weight and had morning sickness. Probably from all the stress."  
>"Everything will be fine," Quinn said.<br>"That's what I believe," Rachel said. After all, she thought if you say it enough you can believe it. Jack had to be okay. He had to.


	9. Chapter 9: Defeat

_Okay, I'm really, REALLY sorry about the lack of updates, reviews on your stories or posts on the forum. The internet at camp has been down and even now, I'm using someone's ipod to post this and the signal is weak, so all I have time to do is post this. I'll be back on August 14 and I'll be as active as before again. Once again, I'm really sorry and I look forward to my full-time return to the Glee fanbase._  
><em>So, here's Chapter 9. I hope you enjoy it. It ends on somewhat of a cliffhanger, but like I said, this story WILL have a happy ending, one I don't think lots of people will expect.<em>  
><em>One last author note: For my birthday (July 28) I'd like 25000 reads and 500 reviews on all my stories. So, read and review!<em>

Chapter 9: Defeat

Things looked promising during the week after Jack's bone marrow transplant. While it was too early to really tell if the cancer had been reduced, everyone was in higher spirits and was getting healthier amounts of food and sleep. Since Jack had such a rare bone marrow type, the mere fact that they'd found someone and her bone marrow had been accepted by his body was a good thing.  
>The positive impact didn't last. About two weeks after the transplant, Jack began feeling sick. Hoping it was just side effects from the transplant, Rachel took him to the doctor. While Rachel took Jack to the doctor, Finn was at school. His students were doing a worksheet when his classroom phone rang. He looked at the caller ID and saw that it was Rachel. Hoping it wasn't too bad, Finn picked up the phone and heard sobbing.<br>"What is it, Rach?" Finn asked, dreading Rachel's answer.  
>"Finn, you've got to get to the hospital immediately," Rachel sobbed. "Jack has a bad fungal infection."<br>Finn gasped in horror.  
>"It's pretty bad," Rachel continued. "Could you please just come to the hospital?"<br>"I'll be there as soon as I can," Finn panted, feeling himself losing consciousness. In a panic, he called the principal and asked him to send someone to manage his classroom, then got in the car and began driving to the hospital. How could this be happening so quickly? EVERYTHING had happened so quickly. Jack had been diagnosed a week after Labor Day. It was now the second week of December. The bone marrow transplant had made everyone so optimistic lately, but maybe there had been no hope to begin with.  
>Finn fought back tears as he went into Jack's hospital room. Rachel sat beside their youngest child's bed, her arms wrapped around him as she rocked him.<br>"Hey," Finn said quietly, giving Rachel and Jack each a quick kiss.  
>Rachel lay Jack on the bed, stood up and gave Finn a tight hug. "Finn..." She began crying. "I just wish there was something we could do."<br>"There has to be something," Finn sobbed.  
>"I'm sorry, Finn. Rachel." Finn and Rachel turned to see the oncologist standing there.<br>"Jack's infection is very bad. His immune system is very weak. Even after the bone marrow transplant, he definitely isn't back to normal. This may be too much for him. Most of the fungus is in his bone marrow."  
>"Isn't there something else we can try?" Rachel asked. "An experimental trial or something?"<br>"There's nothing," the doctor said. "You may want to bring Ryan, Emma and Sarah here so they can see Jack."  
>"What do you mean?" Finn asked.<br>"They should get to say goodbye to their brother."  
>"Do you think-" Rachel began.<br>The doctor took Finn and Rachel's hands. "I don't think it will be long. I'm sorry. I know this all happened so fast, but at least you didn't have to watch him suffer for a long, long time."  
>"I think the two of us would like some private time with Jack," Finn said tearfully. He looked at Rachel and could tell she felt the same way.<br>"Of course you can," the doctor said. "But remember,Ryan, Emma and Sarah deserve to see him."  
>"We'll get them," Rachel said. "I think the two of us need time with him first."<br>"Go ahead," the doctor said. As soon as she left the room, Jack woke up.  
>"Mommy, Daddy, what are they doing?" Jack asked.<br>"You're going to be better," Rachel whispered. "That's what we wanted to talk to you about, Jack. You'll get better. You won't feel pain anymore. You'll never have to have chemo or anything like that again. But there's something bad that comes with it. You're going to a wonderful place called Heaven, but we're all still going to be here. Eventually we'll come join you, but not for a while."  
>"Are you saying I'll be alone?" Jack asked.<br>Finn took Jack's hand. "You're going to get to meet my dad, and there will be lots of angels to help take care of you. It's a nice place and you'll be very happy." He was relieved Rachel had known what to say at first, because he didn't  
>"Then why do you look so sad?" Jack asked.<br>"Because we'll miss you so much," Rachel said. "We love you."  
>"When am I going?" Jack asked.<br>"Soon," Finn said. "Ryan, Emma and Sarah are going to come see you. When they come, could you tell them you're going?"  
>"Yeah," Jack said.<br>Finn heard a knock at the door. "That must be our parents," Rachel said. "I texted them after I called you at work."  
>Rachel went to the door. Finn's mom and stepdad and Rachel's mom and dads came in and talked briefly to Finn and Rachel before going to sit with Jack. When their parents were with Jack, Finn and Rachel stepped into the hall to talk.<br>"I just can't believe how fast this is happening," Rachel said tearfully. "A week ago things looked so good. Now I don't know if he'll be with us tomorrow."  
>Finn pulled Rachel close and kissed her forehead. "This shouldn't be happening, Rach."<br>"No, it really shouldn't," Rachel whispered.  
>Finn stroked Rachel's hair. "I'm going up to Cambridge to get Ryan, Emma and Sarah."<br>Rachel nodded. "We should get them sooner rather than later."  
>Finn gave Rachel a kiss before getting in the car to make a drive he'd dreaded, a drive to Cambridge to get Ryan, Emma and Sarah so they could say goodbye to the little brother they adored. The drive to Cambridge seemed longer than usual, partly because Finn's tears were fogging his eyesight. He forced himself to stop crying as he went into the school office, telling the secretary it was an emergency and his children needed to be picked up right away. The twins were at recess and Sarah was in art class, but they all came to the office and were taken to the car right away. They all seemed confused.<br>"Couldn't we wait until after school to go to the hospital?" Emma asked. Finn wanted them to get to see Jack, and the sooner they did, the better. After today's visit, they most likely would never see their brother again. Finn didn't know what was in store for his family or if he was making the right choice by bringing the kids to see Jack in such pain. He started to cry as he pulled into the hospital. "Jack's not doing well," Finn told the kids as they went inside. "I want him to see you guys. It might... be good for him."  
>Finn and Rachel didn't want to tell the kids that the end was near for their brother, but it was clear they knew things weren't good. Finn's heart broke seeing the looks on his three oldest children's faces as they sat in the waiting room. Ryan was pacing around aimlessly, while the girls sat side by side, Emma's arm around Sarah's shoulder.<br>Ryan finally spoke. "How long do you think it will be?"  
>Finn sighed. "Just spend some special time with Jack."<br>Rachel came into the waiting room. "Hi," she said quietly.  
>"Hi," Finn said.<br>Rachel turned to the kids. "How about you go in, one at a time? Daddy and I will be in the waiting room."  
>"Ryan, go in first, as his brother. Then Sarah as the closest in age, then Emma."<br>The kids nodded as Ryan went into the room. As Ryan left Finn leaned over to Rachel. "They can tell."  
>Rachel sighed. "We tried, but I guess it's not a surprise they know. How long should we give each kid in there?"<br>"Maybe fifteen, twenty minutes. I don't want to upset them too much," Finn said.  
>Rachel took Finn's hand. "I'm so sorry they've had to deal with this. I love you and the kids so much. More than anything."<br>Finn kissed Rachel. "You and the kids are the best things in my life."  
>Rachel put her arms around Finn. He could tell she was close to tears. He was too. But they couldn't cry in front of their daughters.<br>Finn lay his head on Rachel's lap. She leaned down and kissed his forehead, then began running her fingers through what had grown back of his hair. (He had enough for her to play with again, she said.) Rachel whispered in Finn's ear, "I love you, Finn Christopher Hudson."  
>Finn sat up and pulled Rachel in, kissing her forehead and massaging her shoulders. "I love you, Rachel Barbara Berry Hudson." He let a tear fall on Rachel's shoulder. It wasn't fair. He wasn't ready to say goodbye to his little boy. For the rest of his life he'd be scarred. As would his wife and their other children. Even after Jack died, the effects of the cancer would live on.<br>x  
>Ryan stood at the doorway of Jack's hospital room and went in. his parents were very worried. He knew they didn't want to upset him but he was worried. He thought his brother might die and he didn't want him to.<br>"Hey, Ryan," Jack said.  
>"Hey Jack," Ryan said, forcing a smile. "How are you?"<br>"I'm going to be all better, Ryan. Mommy and Daddy told me. They said soon I'm going to a place called Heaven. I'm never going to have to be in the hospital again and I'll never hurt again."  
>Ryan felt ready to cry. This was how his parents wanted him to find out.<br>"You're crying," Jack said. "Why are you crying? I'll be happy there. Mommy and Daddy said that I'll get to meet Grandpa Chris."  
>"I'm crying because I'll miss you," Ryan managed to sob.<br>"I'll miss you too but Mommy and Daddy said I'll still get to see you."  
>Ryan sat down on the bed and gave Jack a hug. "I love you. You were the best brother ever."<br>"I love you too."  
>Ryan and Jack spent the next twenty minutes talking and playing on Ryan's DS. Ryan wasn't ready to leave, but he knew it was important for his sisters to have time with Jack too.<br>x  
>Sarah stood by the entrance of Jack's hospital room and went inside. She still didn't fully understand everything. Cancer was a big deal and it was seriously impacting her family's life. Everyone was always worried. She and her older siblings didn't see their parents as much. They saw Jack even less.<br>"Hi Sarah," Jack said as Sarah went into the room.  
>Sarah smiled at her brother. "Hi Jack." She got worried when she saw him hooked up to another machine.<br>"I don't want you to cry too," Jack said.  
>"Why would I cry?" Sarah asked.<br>"Mommy and Daddy cried this morning. They told me I'm going somewhere called Heaven soon. Then Ryan cried when I told him."  
>Sarah started crying. "That means me and Mommy and Daddy and Emma and Ryan won't ever see you again! That means you're going to-" She didn't think kids died. Was her brother really going to die?<br>"You'll see me again and I'll see all of you from Heaven," Jack said. "That's what the priest told me."  
>Sarah just kept crying.<br>"Don't cry, Sarah. I love you," Jack said.  
>"I love you too, Jack," Sarah said. She played with Jack and his stuffed animals for a little before leaving.<br>x  
>After seeing how sad her brother and sister looked after leaving Jack's hospital room, Emma knew things weren't good. She sadly admitted to herself she'd known Jack would die from the beginning, she just liked to pretend it wouldn't happen.<br>Emma sighed as she went into the room. This would probably be the last time she saw her little brother.  
>"Hi Emma," Jack said as Emma came in.<br>"Hi Jack," Emma said, giving her brother a hug and joining him on the bed. "How are you feeling?"  
>"I'm good. Mommy and Daddy told me this morning that soon I won't be sick anymore."<br>"Really?" Emma asked. "Then why's everyone so sad?"  
>"Because I'm leaving, Emma. I'm going to live in Heaven with Daddy's dad and I'm never going back to our house."<br>Emma pulled Jack in for a tight hug, letting her tears fall on him. "I want you to get better, but I don't want you to leave."  
>"I love you, Emma," Jack said.<br>Emma wiped her tears. "I love you too, Jack."  
>"It makes me sad when you all cry. They think I won't come back after I go to Heaven, but I think I will."<br>Emma sighed. Rather than explaining the irreversability of death to Jack, they played together until she was called out.  
>x<br>"Just be sensitive to their needs," Rachel said to Shelby. "Thank you so much for coming in, Mom."  
>Shelby gave Rachel a hug. "You know I'll always help out, honey."<br>"Let them stay up as late as they want," Finn said. "I want Rachel and me to tell them in person."  
>"Don't worry, Finn."<br>"Thanks again, Shelby," Finn said. He turned to Ryan, Emma and Sarah. "Mommy and I will be back later tonight." With tears in his eyes, Finn gave Ryan, Emma and Sarah each a tight hug. He and Rachel watched sadly as Shelby led them away. More than likely, they'd seen their brother for the last time.  
>"Shit like this shouldn't happen, Finny," Rachel said, her lip trembling, as they walked into the room. The nurse who'd stood outside the door quickly whispered, "I'll give you guys some privacy" before leaving the doorway.<br>Finn and Rachel went into the room to see their son lying in bed. "Mommy, Daddy, when I go to Heaven, will you be okay?" Jack asked.  
>Finn and Rachel looked at each other sadly."We'll be fine," Rachel whispered. They knew they weren't fine, but they didn't want to upset their son.<br>"We'll always be with you, Jack," Finn said. "No matter where you go, me and Mommy and Ryan and Emma and Sarah will be with you." He began crying. "And you're in all of us."  
>"I love you, Jack," Rachel whispered.<br>"I love you, Mommy. I love you, Daddy," Jack said weakly.  
>"I love you, and I always will," Finn said. He put his arm around Rachel as she cried quietly against him. Finn took one of Jack's hands and Rachel took the other. With tears in their eyes, they watched as their youngest child began to fall asleep.<br>"I think... I think it's time," Rachel whispered in Finn's ear as a single tear rolled down her cheek. With her arm that wasn't holding Jack's hand, she tightened her grip around Finn.  
>Finn nodded as a tear of his own fell. "Take care of him, Dad," he whispered. "He's coming to you soon."<br>Jack's breathing slowed. Finn and Rachel held his hands tighter.


	10. Chapter 10: Sadness

_Again, I barely have any time to update. Here's the next chapter - hope you enjoy. Only two left. Let me know what you think._

Chapter 10: Sadness

Jack's breathing slowed. Finn and Rachel held his hands tighter.  
>Jack died at 9:37 p.m. on December 12, 2024.<br>Rachel looked up at Finn with tears in her eyes. "He's gone."  
>Finn's lip trembled as he pulled Rachel in close. "We couldn't do it." For quite some time they'd known this day was coming but that didn't make it any easier. Finn and Rachel had lost their son. Ryan, Emma and Sarah had lost their brother.<br>"Ryan. Emma. Sarah. How are we going to tell them?" Finn sobbed.  
>"I don't know," Rachel sobbed into Finn's shoulder. "It's not fair. We only had him for five years. I worry we didn't appreciate everything we had with him while we had him. Now he's gone forever. Can you explain why this had to happen, Finn?"<br>Finn shook his head and wiped his tears.  
>Rachel continued talking. "That evil disease had to take our little boy."<br>Finn just pulled Rachel in for a tight hug and kissed her on the cheek. "I love you so much, Rachel."  
>"Finn, I love you," Rachel said. "I need you now more than ever. How many times during this difficult trial you gave me comfort."<br>Finn shook his head and kissed the top of Rachel's. "You got me through this."  
>Finn and Rachel sat quietly at Jack's bedside for about an hour before their son's body was taken to the morgue. They had a very difficult time leaving Jack. The room was packed and their luggage they didn't need was ready to be put in the car, but neither of them could bear to part with their son. After an hour they contacted the hospital staff, who were very sympathetic, then got in the car to drive home to break the news to their kids. They'd planned well ahead of time that they didn't want to tell anyone until they told Ryan, Emma and Sarah in person.<br>As the car approached the driveway, Rachel noticed all the lights were off. She turned to Finn. "Do you think they're up?" Maybe if they were asleep, that could give them time to prepare for the impossible task of breaking the news.  
>"If they're asleep, we need to wake them up," Finn said.<br>"I don't want to do this," Rachel said.  
>"Neither do I, Rach," Finn said. "Neither do I."<br>Hand in hand, they walked into the living room to see Ryan, Emma and Sarah, now their only three children, sitting on the couch, as if they'd just been waiting for their parents to get home. At the sight of her children, Rachel grabbed them and began sobbing her eyes out. She pulled Finn in as their parents looked on.  
>"You don't need to tell us," Ryan sobbed, wrapping his arms around Emma. "We know."<br>"When did it happen?" Emma asked, putting one arm around her sister and the other around her brother.  
>"About two hours ago," Finn said quietly. "We couldn't do it... I'm so sorry we did this to you."<br>All three kids were just crying. Rachel felt her heart shattering. As their parents, she and Finn were supposed to comfort the kids, yet there was nothing they could say or do to make themselves feel better. They spent the next two hours sitting in the living room, alternating between sobbing and sitting quietly with the only three children they still had.  
>The kids weren't ready for bed until well after midnight. Ryan and Emma both asked for privacy at bedtime. Sarah wanted her parents with her. Finn and Rachel sat with her until she fell asleep. After Sarah fell asleep, Rachel told Finn she wanted to check on the twins. She went into both their rooms, finding them both fast asleep. She couldn't bear to go into Jack's room, but as she headed back to her room, she peeked into Jack's room to see Finn lying on the bed, cuddling with the teddy bear they'd given Jack the day he was born. Rachel went into the room and lay beside Finn on the bed, putting her arms around him. "Awww, Finny," Rachel whispered as her tears fell on his shoulder.<br>Finn looked around the room. "This is all we have left of him now. Just our memories. We did everything we could. We sacrificed so much- and it's as if it was all for nothing."  
>"Three months is too little. I can't believe he's gone," Rachel said.<br>"I know now we're supposed to be thinking about arrangements,"Finn said. "God, Rach, our kids are supposed to be the ones preparing arrangements for us."  
>Finn went to Jack's table and began looking through the things on it. He held up a piece of paper. "Rach, come look at this."<br>Rachel dot to the table and looked at the paper. "My mommy and daddy are the best. They don't let me get sicker. i love them very much." Jack had written those words on a piece of paper.  
>"When do you think he made that?" Rachel asked.<br>"I don't know," Finn said, putting his arms around Rachel. "Let's see what else is here."  
>They began looking through what was on Jack's table. Tickets from virtually every event they'd been to. Drawings of family and friends. Photos of things he'd liked that he'd printed off the computer. They used to yell at him for using too much ink. Now Rachel knew she would let him use as much ink as he wanted if only that were an option.<br>"Mom? Dad?" Rachel turned to see Emma standing in the doorway.  
>"What is it?" Rachel asked. "You look really tired."<br>"I came to see if you were okay," Emma said. "I'm sure you're really upset."  
>"Don't worry about us, Emma," Finn said. "It's our job to worry about you."<br>"I am worried," Emma said. "He was your son."  
>"Come sit down with us," Finn said. "Tomorrow your mom and I are going to the funeral home to see Jack."<br>"What will happen?" Rachel turned to see Sarah in the doorway.  
>Rachel sighed. Her daughter didn't even know how a funeral worked, now she was being forced to learn the hard way. "He's at the funeral home now," Rachel said. "They'll dress him in some nice clothes and put him in a box called a casket. Our family and friends will come see him in the casket and then he'll be buried."<br>"When will we see him?" Now Ryan was standing in the door.  
>"We'll work it out when Mom and I talk to the people at the funeral home tomorrow," Finn said. "We'll make sure the five of us get time alone with him."<br>The three kids were now sitting on the bed with their parents. "Can we go with you to the funeral home to plan?" Ryan asked.  
>"If you want to, of course," Rachel said. She knew there was no use in telling the kids to go to bed. Despite how tired they looked, there was no way they would get much sleep tonight. Rachel and Finn sat quietly in Jack's room with his brother and sisters until they eventually fell asleep. Finn carried the kids to their rooms after they fell asleep while Rachel went to their room to attempt to rest. While she waited for Finn, she began going through their dresser drawers, looking for things with a connection to Jack. Now anything with ties to Jack would be sacred.<br>Rachel rarely looked in the top drawer on Finn's side of the dresser where he kept lots of his "guy stuff" but there could be something there.  
>Finn joined Rachel in going through the drawers. "His hat and blanket from when he was born at the hospital," Finn said, holding up the hat and blanket.<br>Rachel smiled at the memory of holding Jack when he wore that hat and blanket. Then she made another discovery. "He made us this picture in preschool."  
>Finn looked at the picture. "We'll have to save this forever, Rach."<br>Rachel smiled and looked at the picture. "Anything with connections to Jack is to be treasured."  
>Finn leaned in to kiss Rachel. "You're right." Rachel felt a sharp pain in her stomach, as if something was moving inside her, but decided to ignore it. She was pretty sure she knew what it was, but now definitely wasn't the time to find out for sure. They continued looking through the drawers for nearly an hour.<br>x  
>The next day, Rachel and Finn spent the day at the funeral home with their children, parents and siblings, planning the service. The day was long and difficult, but it was only the first of many without Jack and it would only get harder. They would see Jack in two days. Well, the remains of him.<br>Things weren't much better at home, even though they had their families with them. Christmas was approaching, but there was no cheer whatsoever at the Hudson house. Finn and Rachel had barely eaten or slept since Jack died. Ryan, Emma and Sarah ate and slept in small amounts. Rachel's heart broke for her children. She and Finn had spent most of their time growing up as only children and wanted their own kids to have siblings and be close to them. The four kids had always been such good friends. Other siblings bickered constantly, but the Hudson kids played together non stop and knew all about each other. They were totally in sync. The three kids who remained still had each other, but they'd suffered a cruel loss so few young children could relate to. It's been commonly said that in the dictionary, there are orphans, widowers and widows, but no word for a parent who loses a child. There is also no word for the child who loses a sibling.  
>Ryan, Emma and Sarah had all cried many times, often out of nowhere, since Finn and Rachel had come home from the hospital the evening of the twelfth. None of them had been themselves at all, but they had rarely been themselves since Jack's diagnosis. It was clear that they missed their brother terribly already. Finn and Rachel missed him too, and they had no idea how to deal with any of it.<br>With the help of Ally and Beth, Ryan, Emma and Sarah had put together photo collages for display at the funeral home. Finn and Rachel had also selected some of Jack's favorite items to be displayed at visitations, and a few extra special favorites to go in the casket. As they left the funeral home the night before the visitation, Finn said to the director, "Make sure it's an extra special service. Since there won't be a graduation, wedding or baby, this is it."  
>Rachel felt tears in her eyes. Jack never would get to celebrate those milestones.<br>"Absolutely," the director said. "Finn, I am so sorry you and Jack won't get to share those times as father and son."  
>Rachel put her arms around Finn as they left. The next day they would be seeing Jack's body. Their family and friends would be coming to see them. Rachel was nervous about their family and friends seeing them tomorrow, and any of her students who might come. They shouldn't have to see her as such a wreck.<br>x  
>"It doesn't even really look like him," Ryan said. "It looks like a statue or something of him." It was the next day, the 16th, the day of the visitations. Finn, Rachel, Ryan, Emma and Sarah had arrived an hour early to get time alone with Jack. Seeing him in the casket was near impossible. He was dressed in dress pants, a knitted vest, and a nice collared shirt. Jack's father and brother were in black suits, while his mother and sister were in black dresses.<br>"I know," Finn said, hugging Ryan. "It's so weird seeing him like this."  
>Rachel sighed. Comforting the kids was so had always been great at comforting others, but even he was having difficulty.<br>The hour alone with Jack passed quickly as their family and friends began to file in. The first people to come in were Sam and Quinn with their own children. "Rachel," Quinn whispered, hugging Rachel tightly. "Oh my God."  
>"I can't believe this is happening," Rachel sobbed on Quinn's shoulder.<br>"This even makes me question God," Quinn said. "I'm so sorry, Rach. I can't believe God did this to Jack you and Finn and Emma and Ryan and Sarah."  
>"You're my best friend," Rachel choked. During the early years of high school she never thought she would say that, but Glee changed everything.<br>Quinn hugged Rachel. "You're mine, too. I don't need to tell you, but if there's anything I can do, let me know." She moved to talk to Finn while Sam came to talk to Rachel. "I'm so sorry," Sam said. "Things like this shouldn't happen."  
>"No, they really shouldn't," Rachel said, crying quietly.<br>"You and Finn take care of each other," Sam said. "He called me at 4 a.m. sobbing."  
>Rachel's heart shattered. "We will. We will."<br>The line moved a while before Santana and Rachel were face to face. Immediately, Santana pulled Rachel in for a big hug. "I'm sorry it didn't work, Rachel. I feel terrible."  
>"This isn't your fault," Rachel said.<br>"You and Finn need your son," Santana said. "How are the other kids?"  
>Rachel shrugged. "As you can expect. I think they're still in shock, honestly."<br>"I did what I could," Santana said.  
>"And we're very grateful to you, Santana," Rachel said. "Thank you."<br>The line continued moving and someone Rachel had never expected to see was there. "Sue Sylvester?"  
>The former cheerleading coach from McKinley, who bullied the glee club while Finn and Rachel were in high school and then left after her sister's sudden death at the end of their junior year, was indeed by Rachel. She took Rachel's hand. "Hi Rachel. I know we never knew each other in a positive way when you were at McKinley, but when I saw the death notice in the newspaper, I had to come give you and Finn my condolences. I know what it's like to lose someone."<br>"Thank you," Rachel said.  
>A few people later came someone else Rachel never thought to see. "Jesse?" Finn gasped.<br>"Hi Finn. Hi Rachel," Jesse said. "I'm so sorry."  
>"Thank you Jesse," Finn said.<br>Jesse St. James, Rachel's high school ex-boyfriend who had been cruel to Finn, was now a big Broadway star.  
>"Your kids seem wonderful," Jesse said. "I'm sorry."<br>"Thanks," Rachel said. Maybe Jesse wasn't all bad.  
>After four hours, visitations ended. They'd been near impossible to get through, but the funeral tomorrow would be even harder.<p> 


	11. Chapter 11: The Last Goodbye

_Okay, so I hope I didn't turn away too many readers. Let me say that killing the son of Finn and Rachel was difficult to do. When you're as devoted a fan as I am, you bond with the characters, and Finn and Rachel are the characters I've bonded with the most. Killing their son was like killing a close friend's kid. I hated doing it, but I felt like that was what I had to do._  
><em>Like I've said before, this story will have a happy ending. The next chapter (which will be up soon) will have that happy ending. I also plan on making my next fanfic much happier.<em>  
><em>Thank you so much for 25631 reads. Enjoy chapter 11 and don't forget to review :)<em>

Chapter 11: The Last Goodbye

With tears forming in her eyes, Rachel looked around the church. She never imagined she would be sitting at her own son's funeral. It broke her heart to look at the casket as the priest began to speak.  
>"We are gathered to remember the life of Jack Christopher Hudson, son of Finn and Rachel Hudson, brother of Ryan, Emma and Sarah Hudson." Rachel put her arm around a sobbing Emma and tightened her grip around Sarah, who was sitting in her mother's lap crying. She looked beside her to see Ryan's face buried in Finn's stomach. As Emma snuggled into her, Rachel reached down to grip Finn's hand.<br>The past few days had been like hell for the family. Rachel and Finn had survived by being busy preparing for the service and the visitations, while at the same time being exhausted, attempting to recover from the shock and struggling to console their inconsolable children.  
>In the pew behind them were Burt, Carole, Ally, Hiram, Leroy, Shelby, Beth, Kurt and Blaine. Their parents and siblings had gone to the funeral home with them to plan for the visitations and the service. Beth had spent lots of time hanging out with Emma and Sarah, while Michael and Brendan had been with Ryan a lot.<br>Rachel struggled to hold back her tears during the opening prayer. Sarah's tears were already leaving wet spots on Rachel's black dress. The past few days had been crazy as they could have been. Rachel still didn't want to believe that in that coffin was her youngest son, never to be seen again. She'd stared at him in the coffin at the funeral home, trying to memorize every detail of him. She could barely stand to look at, much less talk to, any of the friends or family members who came to visit. The entire New Directions Class of 2012 had come into Cleveland. Kurt and Blaine, with Michael and Brendan. Sam and Quinn, with Adam and Maddie. Mike and Tina with their son Joey. Puck, with his wife Ashley and their daughters Lily and Molly. Artie and Brittany with their son Mitchell and daughter Alicia. Mercedes and Matt, with their sons Chris and Jared. The one who could have been Jack's savior, Santana, with her wife Michelle and their daughters Carly and Jenna. Even the freshmen Finn and Rachel had mentored their senior year, Jake and Kylie, were there with their two children Joshua Finn Cirino (Josh) and Abigail Rachel Cirino (Abby). Mr. and Mrs. Schuester were also there with their three children, James, Andrew and Monica. The New Directions family sat behind the Berry-Corcoran and Hudson-Hummel families.  
>The priest continued talking. "Jack was an incredible person. I had the pleasure of knowing him since his family first started attending this church when he was about five months old. Every Sunday I looked forward to seeing his smiling face in the pew where he always sat with his parents, brother and sisters. His presence will be greatly missed by everyone..." Rachel's mind began wandering again as she looked around the church. There were other families from Cambridge there whose kids were in the Hudson kids' grades. Staff and students from the schools where Finn and Rachel worked. Neighbors. Other cancer patients and their families. Staff from the hospital. The church was practically full. In high school Rachel used to dream about her own funeral. She wished she hadn't done that and never dreamed she'd be at her son's funeral.<br>"Mommy?" Sarah whispered in Rachel's ear.  
>"What is it, honey?" Rachel whispered.<br>"Why did he have to die?" Sarah asked as tears started falling.  
>"I'm so sorry," Rachel whispered, cradling her daughter. She looked over at Finn, who had his arms around Ryan and Emma. Both Finn and Rachel were crying, but these kids needed them. They had to be strong. Rachel had told herself that over and over and was having a harder time believing it. Would they ever truly be okay?<br>The readings ended and it was time for the speeches. Finn and Rachel would give the first one, then Jack's brother and sisters. Ryan, Emma and Sarah refused to share the words they'd prepared with their parents (well,the twins had probably written most of it). Gripping each other's hands, Finn and Rachel took the spot at the sodium on the altar to speak.  
>"Hello, everyone," Finn began. He gripped Rachel's hand tighter. Rachel looked up at him and saw that he was crying. She was crying too, but was thankful he was speaking now. She couldn't do it yet.<br>Finn continued talking. "When Rachel and I met in high school, she dreamed of becoming a Broadway star and I dreamed of becoming a pro football player. We ended up getting a better life in a quiet suburb with our children. We never dreamed that today we'd be saying goodbye to one of those children who brought so much happiness to our lives.  
>"When Jack was first diagnosed, we were optimistic. We decided we'd give it everything we had and push past everything and everyone. The three month battle took us all on a toll emotionally, financially and physically, but I know we could endure it even longer because we'd be so lucky to still have him with us.<br>"I don't think Jack would want us to remember him by his cancer. When we prepared this speech we tried to find the perfect story to describe our son. We struggled. As his parents we'd be expected to find just the right story but we were lost. Going through photo albums, we found a photo from his first day of kindergarten, about a week before he was diagnosed. When I found that picture I commented to Rachel that he didn't look sick. Then memories of that day came back. I think that day describes Jack perfectly. I remember how excited he was. When we dropped him off, he was running around the classroom, reading the books, playing with the toys and introducing himself to everyone. One of the other parents turned to Rachel and told us that our son wanted to know everyone and everything. I think that says alot about Jack. It's as if he knew all along his time with us would be limited, so he decided to make that time meaningful."  
>Rachel could tell Finn was getting too emotional to keep going. She nudged him and stepped to the podium, fighting back tears as she continued reading the words they'd prepared.<br>"There is a huge hole in my heart, in Finn's, in Ryan's, in Emma's, in Sarah's. All we can do to comfort ourselves is to cherish our memories of him and trying our hardest to live each day to the fullest, expressing the joy he often expressed. Jack, we will love you forever, and you'll always be in our hearts."  
>Rachel looked at Finn, who was now full out sobbing. She gave him a tight hug as they walked back to the pew to listen to the words their children had prepared.<br>Seeing Ryan, Emma and Sarah on the podium, looking close to tears, hurt. They shouldn't have to do this.  
>After a few moments of quiet, Emma began speaking. "Hi. I'm Jack's sister Emma. This is his brother Ryan and his sister Sarah. Our parents asked us to say something today. Well, I guess the best thing to say is Jack was a really great brother. He was really nice and really funny. He was fun to play with. The four of us trick-or-treated and raked and jumped into leaves in the fall, made snowmen and put up Christmas decorations in the winter, planted in the garden and rode our bikes in the spring and swam at the pool and ate ice cream in the summer. It's going to be weird only having three of us."<br>Rachel sobbed into Finn's shoulder. She'd thought about that too. She'd just hoped they hadn't thought of that.  
>Ryan took over talking. "The four of us were so excited that this year we'd all be at the same school. Lots of our friends fight with their brothers and sisters, but we don't. I know Jack wants me and the girls to stay close."<br>Now Sarah started talking. "We'll try not to be sad but right now we are sad. One day I hope we can be happy again. We love you Jack. We miss you."  
>Rachel and Finn stopped their crying long enough to hug their children when they got back from the altar. Sarah sat on Finn's lap and started sobbing on his shoulder, while Emma and Ryan snuggled into Rachel.<br>The rest of the service was beautiful, especially when the New Directions alumni sang. When the service ended, Rachel and Finn got lots of hugs from their friends and family members before getting in the hearse to go to the cemetery. The ride in the hearse was silent. All Rachel could think about was how one of her children was dead and the other three now would forever have scars from it. All she and Finn had ever wanted was a safe, happy childhood for their children. Now that would never happen. Their childhoods would be defined by death, loss and grief.  
>The graveside part of the service was even more painful than the part at the church. When Jack's coffin was placed in the ground, that was it. Never again would he be seen. Rachel and Finn sobbed the whole way to the luncheon. As they sobbed, Ryan, Emma and Sarah gave them hugs, wiped their tears and told them they loved them. This only made Rachel cry more. She and Finn were supposed to be comforting their three young , the children were comforting them.<br>When they got to Cambridge for the luncheon, Finn told the children to go be with their friends, telling them it might help. He whispered to Rachel, "I think time away from their sobbing parents will be good for them. Besides, I think we need time with our friends, too."  
>Rachel stood on her tiptoes to kiss Finn's cheek.<br>"You poor things." Rachel and Finn turned to see Kurt, Mercedes and Tina approaching them. "It was a beautiful service," Mercedes said. "Your speeches showed how close the family is."  
>Rachel forced a smile. "Thanks."<br>Puck, Artie and Blaine walked over. (Artie could walk now, thanks to an operation he'd gotten six years ago.) "Have you two eaten?" Artie asked.  
>"Oh, we've lost our appetites," Rachel said.<br>"Please at least eat something," Tina said.  
>Rachel picked up a small cheese cube and put it in her mouth. "I ate something."<br>"She meant a real meal," Puck said.  
>Sam and Quinn joined the group. "We've said this before, but let us know if we can do anything," Sam said.<br>Finn started to respond as Brittany and Santana came over, followed by Mike and Matt a few minutes later, then Jake and Kylie. It was just like old days. "Really, you guys didn't all have to come into Cleveland," Finn said. "Especially when Christmas is less than two weeks away."  
>"Of course we did," Jake said. "You guys are too important to us for us not to come."<br>"Where do you think Josh and Abby got their middle names?" Kylie said. "We love you guys too much to watch you go through this alone."  
>"And when you get home, pack your bags," Kurt said. "You two and the kids are coming to New York with us to spend Christmas and New Year's there."<br>"Thanks Kurt, but we'll be as good in Cleveland as anywhere," Finn said.  
>"Please go to New York," Puck said. "A change of location could be helpful."<br>"If no other reason, for your kids," Quinn said.  
>Rachel sighed and looked at Finn. "Fine, we'll do it."<br>"And you're not going back to Cleveland until the day before the kids go back to school," Blaine said.  
>Sarah came over. "Mommy, Daddy, I want to go home."<br>"Wait a little, Sarah," Finn said.  
>Sarah pulled on Rachel's sleeve and slapped her stomach. Rachel had almost forgotten about the small bump that was forming on her stomach, where Sarah had slapped her. "Sarah, please leave my stomach alone," Rachel sighed. "I don't-"<br>Quinn shot Rachel a look, hinting she had the same suspicion Rachel had. Rachel looked back at Quinn and nodded before turning back to her daughter. "We'll go home soon."  
>x<br>Going to New York made things marginally better. Burt, Carole and Ally flew in too. Sarah was especially easily distracted by all the festivities in New York. Distracting Ryan and Emma was harder, but doable.  
>Finn and Rachel attempted to distract themselves by running around New York doing last minute Christmas shopping they hadn't done because they'd been so distracted back home. Nothing could really make them feel better.<br>Christmas morning came and Rachel figured it would be a good time to figure out if what she suspected was happening. After Ryan, Emma, Sarah, Ally, Michael and Brendan opened their gifts, Rachel snuck into the bathroom at Kurt and Blaine's townhouse and did what she had to do. When she looked at the results, she smiled for the first time since Jack's death, then called out to Finn.


	12. Chapter 12: Healing

__Well, here it is, the last chapter. :( I'm really happy with how this story turned out and how my fanfic career is going. I definitely want to write another fanfic, if I should, let me know. I hope you enjoyed this story - and this chapter has the happy ending I promised.__

__Chapter 12: Healing

"Congratulations to Cambridge Elementary School's Class of 2025!"  
>Finn smiled with pride as he looked at the stage where his two oldest children, with the rest of the fifth graders at Cambridge, stood, being promoted to middle school. Ryan was in khaki dress pants, a light blue collared long sleeved shirt and a blue and yellow striped tie, while Emma was in a red sundress with white polka dots, wearing a navy blazer. They both looked very happy, probably the happiest they'd looked since their brother's death.<br>Finn felt a nudge and looked into Rachel's smiling face. "Our little boy and our little girl are growing up."  
>Finn kissed Rachel on the cheek. "We are not old enough for our babies to be in middle school!"<br>"Well, they're in middle school, as of today," Sarah whispered to her parents.  
>"You'll be the only Hudson kid at Cambridge in the fall, Sarah," Finn whispered. He felt a quick stinge of guilt. Had Jack not died, Sarah wouldn't be the only Hudson kid at Cambridge in the past six months had been difficult. Finn and Rachel both knew they wouldn't have been able to handle it without each other or their other kids. All three of the other kids had struggled greatly during the first few weeks following Jack's death. They were doing better now, but something was still missing. Nothing would ever be the same for Finn, Rachel, Ryan, Emma and Sarah, but things were getting better every day.<br>As the newly minted adolescents processed off the stage, Finn felt Rachel's hand squeezing his tightly. He snapped pictures of Ryan and Emma, then handed Sarah the camera and turned to Rachel.  
>"Finn, I think it's happening," Rachel whimpered.<br>"Oh my God!" Finn gasped. "Should I call an ambulance?"  
>"Don't be silly, Finn, it can wait until after the reception!" Rachel hissed.<br>Finn rolled his eyes. "Okay, but let me help walk you to to the reception hall. Sarah, could you take one of your mom's arms?"  
>"Is it time?" Sarah asked, her eyes wide.<br>"It won't be long," Finn said.  
>x<br>FLASHBACK  
>"Finn!"<br>When Finn heard Rachel's scream from Kurt and Blaine's bathroom, he got really worried. Something couldn't be happening again. Especially not on Christmas. This was the first time he'd seen Ryan, Emma and Sarah smile since Jack died.  
>"What is it, Rach?" Finn called, running to the bathroom.<br>"Just come in," Rachel said.  
>Finn opened the door and ran in. "Are you okay, Rach?"<br>Rachel handed Finn a strip. "I'm pregnant."  
>"What?" Finn gasped.<br>"I'm pregnant," Rachel said, handing Finn the strip.  
>"When? How?" Finn asked. "We haven't even - not since Jack got sick."<br>"I thought it was stress but I haven't had a period since Jack got sick and I've gained weight."  
>"It all adds up," Finn said, feeling an intense mixture of feelings. This new life growing inside Rachel would never know Jack, but he or she would give their lives a new meaning, a purpose, something to be happy about. The baby would help Finn and Rachel heal and would be good for the other kids too.<br>"Let's go tell the other kids the news," Finn said as he rubbed Rachel's stomach.  
>x<br>Soon enough, that baby would be making his or her appearance. This time around Finn and Rachel had chosen not to find out the gender, but soon they'd know. Finn could tell by the way Rachel was holding on to him.  
>Ryan and Emma came up to their parents and sister in the reception hall. "No more elementary school!" Ryan declared.<br>"My oldest kids, in middle school," Finn said.  
>"I am so proud of both of you," Rachel said weakly.<br>Finn turned to Rachel. "Are you sure you're okay?" he whispered.  
>"My water just broke," Rachel said.<br>"Oh my God!" Finn gasped, feeling daunted of having to do this all on the spot. "Okay... Ryan, call an ambulance. Emma, go to the car and get your mom's hospital bag. Rach, just sit down until the ambulance gets here."  
>"Of all times to have a baby, you chose my graduation?" Emma pouted.<br>"I'm sorry," Rachel said. "Today's supposed to be about you and your brother."  
>"It's okay," Emma said.<br>Within five minutes, the ambulance arrived. As the Hudson family boarded the ambulance, Finn whispered, "Hey Jack, watch over your mom and the baby today."  
>Finn sat next to Rachel on the stretcher on the ambulance while Ryan, Emma and Sarah sat on the floor. Finn called some friends and asked them to meet the kids in the waiting room and sit with them, then called his parents and Rachel's to tell them to come into Cleveland because soon they'd have another grandchild.<br>When they arrived at the hospital, Finn wheeled Rachel into the maternity ward and the kids went to the waiting room. The wait for the pushing to begin was long. During that wait Finn received texts from his parents and Rachel's saying they'd arrived at the hospital and were with the three older kids. After about three hours, the doctor told Rachel it was time to push. Finn had always been in awe by how calm Rachel was while giving birth. Sam, Puck, Mike, Artie and Matt had told him all about how Quinn, Ashley, Tina, Brittany and Mercedes had screamed and used profanity while giving birth. Rachel said it was nothing after being attacked in college - and now, after what Jack had gone through. Finally, the baby was out and the doctor handed it to Rachel. "Finn, Rachel, congratulations. Another boy."  
>Finn smiled and looked at the baby in Rachel's arms. He had Rachel's eyes and face shape and Finn's nose and mouth, just as Jack had. Rachel smiled at Finn. "He looks like you. He looks like his brothers and sisters, too."<br>Rachel smiled at Finn. "Would you like to hold him?"  
>Finn nodded. Rachel handed him the baby.<br>"He needs a name," Finn said, cradling his newborn son.  
>"Should we name him in honor of his brother?" Rachel asked.<br>Finn shook his head. "We need to let him be his own person, not a replacement for Jack."  
>Rachel nodded. "I guess you're right. Can we please name him Finn?"<br>Finn shook his head and laughed. "Like I said, he should have his own name."  
>Rachel sighed. "We probably should have found out the gender in advance so we could have done this ahead of time."<br>Finn and Rachel sat quietly for a few minutes before Finn spoke. "How about Grant?"  
>Rachel smiled. "I like that name. Do you have a middle name in mind?"<br>"I picked his first name. You pick his middle name," Finn said.  
>"Well, I like the name Cory and I think it sounds good with Grant."<br>"Grant Cory Hudson. I like it." Finn smiled at his wife, then at his newborn son.  
>"Maybe little Grant should meet his brother and sisters now," the doctor said.<br>"I'll go get them. You wait here," Finn told Rachel. He went into the waiting room, where Ryan, Emma and Sarah, still dressed in their good clothes from the Cambridge promotion, were waiting with their grandparents.  
>"Come with me," Finn said to his children. "There's someone you guys need to meet."<br>"The baby was born?" Emma asked excitedly.  
>Finn smiled. "Yup."<br>Finn led his three oldest kids into Rachel's hospital room, where Rachel was holding Grant. "Kids, this is Grant, your little brother," she told the kids, smiling.  
>"Can I hold him?" Ryan asked.<br>"Of course you can," Rachel said, handing Grant to Ryan. Finn put his arm around Rachel and smiled at the sight of his oldest son holding his youngest son.  
>"Hey Grant," Ryan said. "I'm your big brother Ryan. You're going to sleep in the room next to mine at home. It's been empty there, but not anymore. When you're old enough, I'm going to teach you how to play sports. Whatever you play though you'll be number 5, just like Dad and me."<br>Sarah tickled Grant's toes. "I'm your sister Sarah, Grant. I'm going to teach you how to play tricks on our big brother and sister. Of course you're going to be in Glee one day. Just like the rest of us."  
>Emma went and took Grant. "And I'm Emma, your other sister. You have another brother too. His name is Jack. He's in Heaven, so you won't get to meet him, but you'll hear all about him from us. I think you're a gift from him. He's letting us know that it's okay to be happy."<br>Finn smiled at Rachel. Emma always had been mature and insightful for her age. Finn also felt like Grant was a gift from God. He wasn't a replacement for Jack, but rather a new beginning. He gave the family the strength to smile again, the strength to be happy. Today, Finn believed in miracles.  
>Finn and Rachel watched as Ryan, Emma and Sarah spent the afternoon playing with Grant and talking to their new little brother. When the grandparents met their new grandson, they agreed that he was a gift from God. The older siblings had to be torn away from Grant when their parents decided they needed to go home for the night. The grandparents took them home, leaving Finn, Rachel and Grant at the hospital.<br>Grant fell asleep in Rachel's arms after a few minutes. On their first opportunity, Finn and Rachel sang to him before he fell asleep.  
>Rachel put Grant in his crib, then gave Finn a kiss. "Miracles do happen."<br>Finn kissed Rachel back. "Definitely."  
>Rachel gave Finn a big hug. "I just feel like there was a period where I wondered if I was wrong to think things would get better, then today, when Grant was born and I saw Ryan, Emma and Sarah so happy, I realized I was right to believe that things would get better. Eventually, life is beautiful again. I could feel Jack with us today."<br>Finn took Rachel's hand and held it, amazed that she still always knew exactly what he was thinking. "He was with us today, Rach. I remember shortly after Jack died, Mr. Schue told me he hoped one day, we would feel pure joy again rather than joy overshadowing sadness. Well, that happened for me today. What about you? Did that happen for you?"  
>Rachel looked up at Finn and smiled. "Yes. I know in my heart that Jack wants us to be happy and to give Ryan, Emma, Sarah and Grant the best childhood we can. One day I believe that you, I and all five of our children will be together."<br>"I love you," Finn said.  
>"I love you too," Rachel said.<br>Finn looked at his watch, realizing it was getting late. "I don't want to leave you and Grant, but we do have three kids at home, so I should probably head back."  
>Rachel nodded. "Give them each a kiss for me. I'll see all of you in the morning."<br>Finn gave Rachel a kiss. "Good night Rach." He leaned in to kiss his newborn son. "Good night Grant." He took one last look at Rachel and Grant before getting in the car and heading home. As he began driving up the hill, he noticed how brightly colored and beautiful the sky was, as if it was Jack sending them a message. Finn looked up at the sky and smiled. "Thanks Jack. And thanks for a good delivery of Grant. We love him."  
>x<br>"This is New York, Grant," Emma said, wheeling her little brother's stroller around Times Square. It was already the last weekend of summer and the Hudsons were in New York to visit the Hummel-Andersons before the kids started. Grant was twelve weeks old now and was already being taken to New York. On Monday Ryan and Emma would begin sixth grade at Miramar Middle School, while Sarah would begin second grade at Cambridge.  
>"Can you say New York, Grant?" Ryan asked.<br>Grant made gurgling noise.  
>"Close enough," Ryan said. "Anyway, I got good Times Square hot dogs. Want one?"<br>"No, Ryan," Rachel said. "You're not feeding Grant hot dogs yet. He'll have plenty of opportunities for Times Square hot dogs."  
>"So true," Emma said.<br>"Look over there, balloons!" Sarah pointed at a vendor with balloons. "Let's go get Grant his first balloon from New York."  
>Finn reached into his wallet and handed Sarah a ten dollar bill. "You each go get a balloon."<br>Finn put his arm around Rachel and watched as Emma pushed Grant's stroller toward the balloon stand, with Ryan and Sarah walking with them. Ryan, Emma and Sarah were talking and laughing. "Look how happy they are," Finn said to Rachel. "I'm so glad to see them smiling again."  
>Rachel smiled at Finn. "Another baby may not have been exactly what we were ready for, but Grant was a godsend. He's brought you and me and Ryan and Emma and Sarah back to life."<br>Finn gave Rachel a hug. "We'll always be a family. We have five kids. Only four of them live with us, but we're still a family."  
>Rachel looked up at Finn. "During the first few days after Jack's death, life had lost its meaning. Now I realize he's always with us. He's here with us today, smiling at his brothers and sisters."<br>Finn gave Rachel a kiss. "Rach, you and the kids make my life worth living. Life gets difficult and we've been put to the ultimate test. You, Ryan, Emma, Sarah and Grant have helped me heal."  
>"We got balloons." Finn and Rachel turned to see their kids standing there, Sarah holding one, Ryan holding one, Emma holding one and two tied to the handlebars of Grant's stroller.<br>"We got five," Ryan said. "Because there's still five of us."  
>Finn felt a tear coming. "You guys are the best."<br>A group of high school kids began performing a song nearby. "Let's take Grant to hear it," Ryan said. "We know he'll be in Glee. It's part of being a Hudson."  
>Ryan began pushing Grant's stroller towards the high school kids. Sarah linked her arm in her brothers. Emma stood there smiling at Finn and Rachel.<br>"What is it?" Rachel asked.  
>"I just love you both, a lot," Emma said.<br>Finn smiled. "I love you, too. And I love your brothers and your sister."  
>"Life gets better, remember that, sweetie," Rachel said.<br>"I think it's already better," Emma said. "Let's go join Ryan, Sarah and Grant." She grabbed Finn's hand with one hand and Rachel's with the other, leading her parents toward her siblings. Finn and Rachel smiled at each other over their daughter. The void in their lives would never go away, but Jack would always be with them, and with the four children they had with them, they could continue to be happy.


End file.
